By Carol Allen It can be tough to get back out there again after you've been disappointed in the love department, but there are two things you have to keep in mind in order to finally break out of the heartbreak cycle. Know Your "WHY" In my experience, if you don't have a strong, deep, thrilling reason for wanting something, then as soon as it becomes even slightly difficult or challenging to attain, you'll lose heart and give up too easily. This is true in any area of life — you have to have an incredible reason to follow through on your most cherished goals to be able to sustain the effort. That's why it's very important for you to know why you want love in the first place. And you'd better have a very good, compelling reason that you can get seriously excited about. Here's an example: We all know we should save money and not carry credit-card debt. Yet many of us fall into this problem. But what if you were to get a phone call from Brad Pitt saying, "If you pay off your credit cards within three months, I'll give you a starring role in my next movie. We'll be shooting for five months in Tahiti. How does TEN MILLION DOLLARS sound? An oh yeah, you'll get to do a love scene with me."??? Do you think that would be motivating? Do you think you could muster the strength to stop using your credit cards? Do you think you'd find a way to pay them off — hocking your jewelry, holding car washes and garage sales, doing whatever it took? Me, too!!! As this little story illustrates, your "WHY" is the reason you're working for something — it's the VISION you have that's so attractive and desirable to you that it makes every misstep, setback, and disappointment worth it. Without a "WHY," you won't know why you're going for what you're going for, and you won't have an intense enough reason to keep going when the going gets tough. So, I'll ask you — WHY do you want a relationship? What would your life be like if you had one — not just any old relationship, but a GREAT one? One that fed you on a spiritual, emotional, physical, heck — even financial level? What would that do for your life? And how could that lead to other spectacular stuff — extended family, children, a home, greater social networks, someone to take out the trash, etc... If you don't figure this WHY out for yourself, then you'll be relying on discipline alone to get what you want. This doesn't work. Simply telling yourself, "I have to do this...I have to work really hard" without knowing the BIG PAYOFF isn't enough to keep doing whatever it'll take to get you to your desired result. Don't Take It Personally Unlike credit card bills, there's something else that comes into play when it comes to dating and relationships. You think everything that happens, no matter how small, means something about YOU. As an astrologer, I have a unique point of view on relationships. I've come to believe that even who we meet and who we feel a strong connection to — and WHEN — is up to fate. It isn't personal — there are either "love connections" between your chart and that of someone else, or there aren't. If you've gotten that miserable phone call from a man you've been seeing, and he tells you it's over, saying, "I'm just not feeling it," then I promise you there's an astrological reason to explain his feelings, or lack thereof. I know what you're thinking — if there aren't "love connections" then how come YOU were feeling it? These connections can go one way — you can feel chemistry and attraction with someone when they simply don't for you, and vice verse. Which is why that happens so often — to all of us. Isn't it a relief to know it's not your fault and there's nothing wrong with you? So, here's my plan for you: Do some soul searching and find out WHY you really want to be in a relationship and get clear on what the payoff is for you. Then, learn how astrology can reveal your romantic destiny and what you can do to claim the love that's already written in your stars. You can learn more about how to use the astrology of ancient India combined with tried-and-true relationship skills to claim the love you were born to have here: Click Here to receive Carol’s newsletter for free
November 19, 2010
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