I think couples who get too involved physically early in their relationship often don't grow as much in other areas and are less able to objectively evaluate their strengths and weaknesses as a couple. Having said that, romantic chemistry is important and feeling comfortable being affectionate is vital. I think it is important to make sure feelings about someone you're thinking about marrying and possibly creating children with are more than just brother/sister or friendship feelings. This is why I use the word "reasonable." . Couples who are barely able to touch each other are going to have a tough time assessing that factor. This is another concern I have about getting together in such a restrictive environment.
I believe the marital couple is a team and that they have to consciously support and give primary loyalty to each other as the most important relationship a person can have on earth. To me, marriage is about a deeper love that is based on trust, companionship, and loyalty, and that is about two people being equals and being united in their purposes. A couple with that kind of foundation can stay solid if they put certain behaviors and ways of connecting into practice. For that reason, I believe that a crucial trait to look for in a spouse is solid character and the ability to stand by their word and their promises. Either before or after marriage, I believe both people have to be willing to work problems out. Obviously, the need for this is greater after marriage, but being willing to try even before that says a lot to me about how someone is going to be once they make a marital commitment.
Willingness to be smart about relationships is what ultimately makes the most difference, in my opinion. Its about the willingness to do what's necessary to get through difficult patches, whether that's lots of talking, praying together, getting help from a counselor or pastor, or just riding it out knowing that change always happens. Christian couples have to work at their marriages just as any other couple does. Being compatible in essential areas like spirituality is crucial, but no two people are ever going to be so compatible that there aren't issues. The day to day of life is not always romantic or easy and conflict is inevitable. There are times when someone might not feel very interested in their spouse or enthused about their marriage. Such feelings are common. What's important is not letting our emotions make our decisions.
I worry that the "God brought us together" belief brings about a false sense of security that things will "just work out." This belief can be very dangerous. Relationship success is about what we do, being proactive rather than reactive, behaving according to what we know we value in the long term. Christians believe that God created marriage and wants couples to find fulfillment and joy in this relationship. They also believe He offers guidance to those who seek it through the Holy Spirit, other Christian couples, the Bible, and other resources. God wants to help and bless those who desire a marriage that honors Him, but He won't do the work for us.