You can't always help who you're attracted to (thus the Sandra Bullock / Jesse James phenomenon), but sometimes you have to try. Sometimes that tiny, innocent kernel of a crush is like a tiny, innocent black widow spider—not something you want to go anywhere near.
Since we understand that the boundaries can get a bit fuzzy on occasion, we've made a list of celebs that are firmly in the "Don't Even Think About It" category.
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1) Justin Bieber
He's adorable and talented, but he's also 16. This kid is Canadian jailbait. Don't pretend you don't know what we're talking aboot. Let that crush happen and you're sure to be sore-y. In fact, for the sake of legality, remember that ANYONE under 18 is just a bad idea. It's agism, but it's necessary.
2) Michelle McGee
Honestly, part of why she's on this list is because we hate the idea of anyone breaking up the marriage of our favorite hollywood sweetheart. But that's just part of it. The other part has to do with her being a swastika-wearing, hitler-saluting, white supremacist. If her tattoos don't scare you, her belief system should. All About Michelle McGee's Swastika, Nazi Ways
3) Jon Gosselin
We were on Jon's side during his reality show, when it seemed that he was an underappreciated, henpecked dad. When the show ended and the divorce procedures began, however, Jon seemed to dissolve from a responsible parent into an emotionally stunted, whiney partyboy—hardly the Jon we'd gotten to know in front of the camera. Even supposing you had the energy to take care of eight kids (or nine, counting Jon himself), do you really want to be involved with someone who is notably...size-deficient? Playgirl Asks Jon Gosselin To Pose Just For Laughs
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4) Kate Gosselin
Similar to the above, except that she appears to be uber-controlling and fame-hungry. She, like her ex-husband, comes with some serious baggage. It's also important to note that being with her will mean being involved with Jon by extension, and this, as we've noted, is something to avoid.
Egoism + a tendency to cheat (in sports and in his marriage) + still being into his ex = SO not crushworthy. If men in pinstripes are your type (which this celeblover understands completely), may we suggest the affable, adorable, even-tempered, multi-talented Bernie Williams? Kate Hudson Says A-Rod Still Loves Madonna