“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we all looked alike, even if we were all perfectly beautiful?
Can you be seductive even if you do not have the perfect ‘beauty pageant’ body?
Can you be fully sexy with your lover even if according to your beliefs your thighs are too flabby? Can you even imagine that he might like your thighs just the way they are?
Can you offer your tenderness and love from a breast that is no longer firm, and perhaps sagging?
If you answer yes to at least some of these questions your self-acceptance is helping you to enjoy life more than the woman who has a ‘perfect’ body, but a critical mind can.
I remember one of my clients, Grace, saying that she was avoiding the woman-on-top position during sex because her belly and breasts were not firm enough, and she was afraid her boyfriend would be turned off. She had let herself go after the baby and was sad because she used to have the best orgasms when she was on top. In fact, when she was on top she was doing the movements that gave her the best orgasms.
Thankfully, after we worked on how her beliefs influenced her behavior, she changed her mind and started to practice imagining that the movement of her flesh was a turn on to her boyfriend.
After a while, even without changing anything about her looks, she actually started to enjoy being on top again and started to have incredible, powerful orgasms. Her boyfriend was ecstatic. She was relaxed enough to observe that her boyfriend actually enjoyed her sexiness no matter what position they were in. She actually became multi-orgasmic.
Her self-esteem as a lover rose, and then she decided that she wanted to firm up, because she realized she liked herself more if her body had more tone. She joined a gym and within 6 months Grace achieved the look that made her feel good about her body and she could wear more sexy clothes.
However, to her surprise her pleasure in sex did not change. She was as great as before.
The change she made came out of self-love, not out of having a body that looked a certain way.
Sex is an internal job. Most men love the passion and abandon a self-confident woman experiences in their presence, and often are much less critical about any physical imperfections we have than most women are when they look at themselves in the mirror.
Being healthy and well toned is definitely a plus, but you do not have to wait to be a certain way in order to enjoy sex.