No one bats a thousand at this. As a practice, though, it makes life more beautiful, and it transports our intimate relationships to a place where the weather is sunny much more often than not. Wouldn’t you rather live in Hawaii than Siberia?
If your partner is up for it, I invite you to try playing The Positivity Game. For an agreed-upon amount of time, say nothing but positive things to each other. No matter what the subject—your kids, politics, your relationship—stay upbeat. At times, it may go against your grain and seem cloying. Do it anyway.
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Here’s what I predict: you’ll find that you relax and become less on guard with each other. This is because evolution has designed us humans always to be on the lookout for danger. Negative communications are signals of danger—they’re announcements that there’s something to be afraid of. Eliminate these negative signals and your defenses go down. No predators! When the sun is out, we tend to bask and relax.
As a regular practice, The Positivity Game can transform a self-defeating life habit into a wise habit—and it can transform your relationship from a dangerous place requiring ongoing vigilance to a sanctuary of peace and light.
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