6. Brainstorm together. You don't have all the answers. Neither does your child. But together you are a powerful creative team. When your child is able to talk to you about the problem of teasing and bullying, you can shift toward generating ideas that might work. These ideas will be more acceptable if they don't just come from you. 7 Tips For Traveling As A Couple
7. Introduce alternatives. One powerful idea you might introduce, if your child does not come up with it first, is the powerful "hero feeling" that comes from standing up for others. Somehow standing up for a younger sibling or even a smaller stranger allows a child to feel brave. It is a natural response and it counteracts shame. Helping another also makes it easier to ask for help for yourself when it is needed.
8. Emphasize nonviolence. Emphasize nonviolence and introduce nonviolent heroes like Jesus, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, Jr. It is not necessary to beat up a bully to win self-respect. It is only necessary not to give in to the feeling of shame. It may be dangerous to humiliate or defeat a bully. Standing up to the threat of shame and being brave does not require violence or physical strength. It requires emotional intelligence.
9. Talk to parents and teachers. Talk about the problem of teasing and bullying and the solution of resilience with teachers and other parents. The more resilient heroes we have on the playground the less vulnerable all our children will be. Read more about shame and anger and the roots of teasing and bullying at Brock Hansen's website: Change-for-Good.org and in his book Shame and Anger: The Criticism Connection.