3. Beautiful gaze. Shame makes you avoid eye contact. Anger makes you stare at others in hostility. But when you walk down the street realizing that most people are struggling with the same pain as you, and you silently wish them well as you look them in the eye, your generosity of spirit and big heartedness will lift you up and heal your own blues.
4. Being a beautiful role model. I am not saying the culture will change as a result of these steps, but while we are waiting for those government policies to take shape, there is something we can learn from the women who have demonstrated the ability to transcend the stereotypes of society. Queen Latifa, for example, acts as if she would only feel sorry for you if you did not think she was beautiful. I have met several women over 300 pounds who never had trouble getting a date. They know about their own beauty, and invite others to discover it. It is not easy to go against your culture and your own survival emotions, but it is possible, and it is effective.
Brock Hansen, LCSW, Criticism Coach, writes, teaches and coaches on topics of Shame, Anger, and Criticism. www.Change-for-Good.ORG