*Be patient and endure through this difficult period. Understand how painful and difficult it is for your partner and empathize and validate his feelings. Provide reassurances of your love, but don't enable his behavior.
*Take care of yourself. Practice good stress management for emotional wellness.
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*Identify ways you might be able to support your partner and show how you value him. Explore your own behavior to determine if you're reinforcing your lover's jealousies in any way.
And finally, together as a couple...
*Identify if the jealousy has its roots in an underlying problem in your relationship. What's missing? Are there any unmet needs that require your attention?
*Don't make assumptions! Avoid mind-reading and always check feelings or thoughts that you may have with each other.
*This is a great opportunity to open the channels of communication and see if any new boundaries or "relationship rules" need to be re-negotiated, created, or dropped.
*Make your relationship a #1 priority! Spend lots of quality time together and engage in activities that will re-vitalize your bond and restore some of that damaged trust and intimacy.
Jealousy doesn't have to rule your life. Make a commitment to aggressively minimize its influence so that there will be more energy available for your own self-care and for enriching your relationship. These are the things that really matter. So squash that bugger before it has the chance to contaminate what the two of you have worked so hard to build. Convert that jealousy into passion for yourself and for your partner and before long you'll no longer heed Jealousy's evil whispers. You can do it!
*Reference: Neidig, Peter H. & Friedman, Dale H. (1984). Spouse Abuse: A Treatment Program for Couples. Champaign, IL: Research Press Company.
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© Dr. Brian L. Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach