ProConnect

The Power Bottom

By

The Power Bottom
This article is a Q&A interview that was done about the "bottom" role in gay sexuality.

There is no specific type of man who can be generalized as being a “power bottom.” Men of all personality types and creeds vary in their preference of whether to be a “top” or a “bottom”. Some dominant men do enjoy relinquishing control in the bedroom to tap into a more submissive side than they ordinarily exude in their public life, but this does not necessarily target them as being power bottoms. And as indicated earlier, a power bottom often times does not have to be passive and submissive; they can also be quite a delicious aggressor.

6. Are power bottoms rare? Do they have a “type”–that is, could you recognize one just by looking at them, or is it something you discover when having sex?

More from YourTango: Gay & Single on Valentine's Day--8 Holiday Survival Strategies

While it’s difficult to ascertain the number of power bottoms that exist, it is believed in some circles in the gay community that bottoms tend to outnumber their top counterparts. By scanning the sex personal ads available on the Web, one can frequently see that posts for bottoms seeking tops are in the majority. This is certainly not representative though and there are no statistics that I’m aware of to verify that as being an absolute truth.

And just like it’s impossible to detect who is gay from straight when out-and-about, it’s also impossible to determine who is a top vs. bottom by physical appearance. Effeminate men are often times stereotypically viewed as being bottoms (even in the gay community), but look out when one grabs you, throws you on your back, and gives you the ride of your life. He’ll debunk all those myths!

Much of the negotiating of sexual activity and what will happen is typically communicated before a sexual encounter. There are always those times as well where the sexual preferences and behaviors evolve in-the-moment of a heat of passion and the men follow suit with cues from body language and gestures. In some bar settings and gay community events, some men wear handkerchiefs, leather straps, and other insignia around a specific arm to advertise their specific sexual preference as a way to attract potential sexual partners or to define their identity.

Cheers! Power to the bottoms!

More from YourTango: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 2

(c) Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Brian Rzepczynski

Counselor/Therapist

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, Licensed Relationship Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating, relationship, and sexual enrichment tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com

Location: Aurora, IL
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Gay/Lesbian/Identity Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Brian Rzepczynski:

Intimacy Freak-Out & Gay Men: Part Two

By

This is the second installment in a 2-part article series about struggles with intimacy that are relatively common in gay relationships. In Part 1 of the series, "intimacy freak-out" was defined and the reasons why gay men are prone to this phenomenon were discussed. This article will address some of the common intimacy fears that could block your ... Read more

Intimacy Freak-Out & Gay Men: Part One

By

"Intimacy freak-out." You've seen it before. You've probably encountered it during your dating escapades. It happens when things seem to be going famously with that special guy you've been dating, and when things start getting just a little bit serious, BAM! He disappears, never to be heard from again, for no apparent reason. Or those men ... Read more

The First Date: Assessing His Boyfriend Potential

By

Let me paint you a picture. . . You sit on the lumpy lounge chair at the coffee shop, sipping your cappuccino while trying to look occupied reading today's local newspaper, your eyes periodically shifting to the front door of the shop, hoping to catch a quick glance of the man you'll be meeting for the first time. You've had a million first ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Flirty Talk

7 Reasons Why You Have a Fear of Love

Dr. Martha Tara Lee shares 7 reasons you have fear about love and 3 truths you can take on board.

Summer Couple

Ditch Your Need for Certainty: Cultivate These Nine Traits

Sometimes we find ourselves on the precipice of a decision and become paralyzed. We hesitate ...

Smooches

The Least & Most Open-Minded Cities In Online Dating

Wondering if your city is open-minded when it comes to online dating? Check out this data from Zoosk

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS