The Power Bottom

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The Power Bottom
This article is a Q&A interview that was done about the "bottom" role in gay sexuality.

3. “New York Magazine” defined power bottom as a person that “takes pride in bottoming and is extraordinarily picky about the anatomical endowments of their partners.” What kind of endowments? Is bigger better? More simply: what is a power bottom looking for in a partner?

There are certainly those men out there who classify themselves as “size queens”, preferring male partners with large penises for anal sex. This is not a golden rule, however, to be considered a power bottom. Gay men love penises of all shapes and sizes and despite the stereotypes about “bigger is better”, many men find these phalluses difficult to accommodate and less pleasurable than an average-to-smaller sized member. Others love the feeling of being “filled” and “stuffed” by an over-sized appendage. The preference is as unique and individual as people are. It just depends on the role, if any, that penis size plays as a fetish or fantasy for the specific man.

 

The type of man sought is also just as varied depending on the individual’s specific erotic blueprint for what he finds attractive and a turn-on. Typically, a long-lasting top who is attentive is favored. Variables like masculine vs. effeminate, body build, hairy vs. smooth are all unremarkable and specific to each person’s unique idea of what’s “hot.”

4. Do power bottoms ever get to/want to go on top?

Absolutely! A power bottom doesn’t solely have to be on his back to have a good time. In fact, mixing it up with different sexual positions adds more spice and variety to the encounter. While there are certainly those bottoms who enjoy taking a passive role in anal sex, many others are quite aggressive in getting their needs met or creating a sexual scenario that’s enjoyable for both men involved. There can be more of a sense of urgency with the power bottom’s active participation and he can actually take on more of dominant role.

One of the beauties about gay sex is that there are no specific rigid gender or sex roles that have to be played out. This means that there is more versatility with sex play and sexual positions and roles can be mixed and matched depending on the situation, preference, and need. While some power bottoms may predominantly favor being topped on most occasions, this does not preclude them to only being pigeon-holed into that one position and many enjoy the option of being able to switch-hit from time-to-time as a “power top.” Versatility can offer more options for sexual satisfaction and variety.

5. I’ve heard that often more dominant men, in terms of look and personality, like to be power bottoms. Does the power bottom ‘role’ exert more dominance over the top, or do these people enjoy the role reversal?

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Brian Rzepczynski

Counselor/Therapist

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, Licensed Relationship Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating, relationship, and sexual enrichment tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com

Location: Aurora, IL
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Gay/Lesbian/Identity Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Brian Rzepczynski:

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