7. To surprise each other with simple adorations of our love for each other, whether it be flowers sent to the office or a love note slipped in our briefcases.
8. To attend personal growth workshops, couples' retreats, sign up for relationship coaching sessions, or read books that will help us keep growing and developing as a couple.
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9. To make more friends and surround ourselves with positive people who will affirm and support our relationship.
10.To work through any self-esteem issues or internalized homophobia that either one of us may have that interfere with us being able to show the world that we are proud to be gay and a couple.
11.To say "I love you" more often and take "Time-Outs" as needed
when we're angry so we don't escalate problems and say things
that will hurt one another.
12.To ensure that we each have both an individual identity and an identity as a couple to bring about more balance/health to our
partnership. Having outside interests, hobbies, and passions will help bring more novelty and freshness to our lives.
13. To be honest and direct with our feelings and needs instead of keeping things to ourselves. We also will avoid placing blame on each other and will acknowledge mistakes and take responsibility accordingly.
And the list can go on and on. Fine-tune these, as well as the ones you've come up with so that they are specific, concrete, and measurable. This way, you both know exactly what you have to do to accomplish the goals you've set because they're spelled out with no "wiggle-room" for sabotage, and you'll ensure that they're achievable. Prioritize your items and only focus on a few initially so as not to get too overwhelmed.
Maintain these tasks, and your commitment will soar to new heights! Reward yourselves for jobs well done and periodically assess and check-in with each other to gauge how you're doing and if any revisions or additions need to be made. Happy New Year, and all the best with your new relationship goals and objectives!
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© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach