"Intimacy freak-out." You've seen it before. You've probably encountered it during your dating escapades. It happens when things seem to be going famously with that special guy you've been dating, and when things start getting just a little bit serious, BAM! He disappears, never to be heard from again, for no apparent reason. Or those men who will have sex with you, but they refuse to kiss you during foreplay and then they're immediately clothed and out the door faster than a speeding bullet after they've had their climax.
Or perhaps you're in a long-term relationship and your partner isn't a real big fan of cuddling or showing displays of affection. He seems distant, aloof, "cut off" from you at times. Or maybe you, yourself, struggle with detachment from your lover or have been told by him that you're "too needy and clingy."
Welcome to the wonderful world of "intimacy issues!" Intimacy deficits are a phenomenon and common cause or symptom of relationship problems in both gay and straight partnerships. It's been called a "man thing", but gay men can be particularly vulnerable to "intimacy freak-out", and Part 1 of this two-part article series will address the reasons behind this and help you gain a better understanding of the dynamics involved in intimacy in gay relationships.