Gay & Single on Valentine's Day--8 Holiday Survival Strategies


Gay & Single on Valentine's Day--8 Holiday Survival Strategies
How to take charge of your single life and overcome the Valentine's Day Blues

Spend some time with your family and friends today. Valentine's Day doesn't have to be pigeonholed into commemorating one's love for a significant other. It's also a day about celebrating your affections for anyone you care about. Make a connection to everyone in your "inner circle" and let them know how much you appreciate and value them.

5. Throw a Valentine's party.


Organize your own creative holiday bash and invite all your single friends. Everyone can bring a Valentine's gift and then names can be drawn at some point in the party to exchange the gifts with your "special Valentine." The gifts can express appreciation of friendship or they can be raunchy and humorous. Pick a theme that expresses your unique personality and style and have a blast!

4. Help someone in need.

Nothing helps to break out of a funky mood than to volunteer one's time and energy to a worthy cause. This type of distraction takes the preoccupation away from the self and all those negative thoughts, and instead channels one's talents into a purposeful and meaningful activity that gives one a sense of accomplishment and contribution. Do some research in advance on what events or activities are going on in your community on Valentine's Day and see if you might be able to enlist your services and help make a real difference in a person's life or a cause.

3. Journal your feelings and strategize.

Break out a notebook and start a journal to record your thoughts and feelings about your single lifestyle and journey. If you're upset about the holiday and your single status, write it all out on the paper to discharge this negativity and release it. But don't stop there! Venting doesn't achieve anything except temporary relief of pent-up frustration. Now write about what you're going to do about those feelings. What productive action steps can you take to remedy your dissatisfactions? Do some problem-solving to devise potential solutions for your dilemma and try them out, making revisions as needed.

2. Celebrate your singlehood.

Avoid comparing yourself to other people who are in relationships. Not all couples are in ideal relationships and it's important for you to manage your projections. In another entry in your journal, write about all the positives and advantages of being single and how you can maximize this time to make yourself the best person you can be. Also identify the things that you're grateful for in your life and make sure to validate those things on a daily basis so you never lost sight or take for granted the good things you actually do have.

1. Clarify your dating and relationship goals and devise your official dating action plan.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Brian Rzepczynski


Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, Licensed Relationship Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating, relationship, and sexual enrichment tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit

Location: Aurora, IL
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Gay/Lesbian/Identity Issues, Sex Therapy
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