And of course nothing keeps the pulse going quite like an escapade of bedroom gymnastics that takes the breath away. Whew! Keep the spark alive in your relationship by spicing things up sexually from time to time to avoid getting stuck in a rut of routine and sexual boredom. It's time to get creative!
Couple's Dialogue (Nov.): Gay men in particular seem to have difficulty expressing their sexual needs and preferences verbally; instead, they tend to suppress their true desires or act them out in real-time in the bedroom. Allow some time to sit down with your partner and talk directly and assertively about what you like and don't like sexually. Be honest and discuss what you'd like more and less of. Focus on behaviors and not your partner as an individual during your discussion. The male ego and self-esteem are very wrapped up with sexuality so special care in the delivery of communications is important. Teach each other what feels best and educate each other about your special turn-ons.
Couple's Activity (Dec.): Separately, each of you can write out in graphic detail a sexual fantasy that you have. Then share your stories with each other and act them out with each other on two separate occasions. Have fun with it! Remember to change the time, location, and position of sexual play to keep things different and interesting. And most importantly, keep the focus off of performance. Enjoy the process of lovemaking and all that it brings. Climax is much more fulfilling when you've truly surrendered to all the pleasures and sensations experienced throughout the entire course of your passionate intimate session together.
By following this simple structure, you'll be well on your way to keeping your relationship front-and-center where it belongs and your chances of taking your partner and relationship for granted will be minimized. Incorporate all of these aspects that make a healthy relationship strong into your day-to-day living, not just month-to-month of course. By consistently advocating for your relationship and taking the necessary steps to keep it alive and well, you'll find that by year's end, you and your partner will have a much stronger foundation and you'll be constantly reminded of why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Happy New Year to you! Enjoy and cheers to your relationship success!
(c) Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach