Couple's Activity (Jun.): Find ways to validate your partner's feelings and beliefs on a daily basis. For example, donating to his favorite charity even though you may not necessarily agree with it is a validation of his worth and your support of his right to his own values and causes. You'll score big points in the love bank when you validate something that he knows is difficult for you to do because he'll know it was a selfless act of support for him.
JULY & AUGUST: QUALITY TIME
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Avoid letting the busyness of life get in the way of your spending time together as a couple. Being physically and emotionally available to each other will keep the connection alive and strengthen your friendship and sense of togetherness.
Couple's Dialogue (Jul.): To keep centered on your relationship, schedule a weekly or monthly "relationship pow-wow" where you talk about all the things that went well and didn't go so well in your partnership over that specific course of time. It will help you stay on top of your relationship goals and can be a time to plan fun times and troubleshoot any potential problems that might be arising before they become unmanageable.
Couple's Activity (Aug.): Schedule a "Date Night" once a week and each of you take turns planning the date on alternate weeks. Remember, it's not so much what you're doing together as it is that you're spending quality time with each other, so avoid getting hung up on the details of a date and just enjoy being with each other.
SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER: VERBAL STROKES AND AFFECTION
It feels so good when your partner says loving things to you to affirm how important you are in his life. Let the power of your words demonstrate how you feel. It's sometimes difficult for gay men to express their feelings, but take heart in knowing that your verbal affirmations and statements can be quite healing to your partner. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and speak your truth about how much he means to you. Combined with affection, he'll be putty in your hands! Many gay men have the tendency to sexualize their affectionate gestures. Try to focus on initiating acts of non-sexual physical affection and this will help nurture feelings of emotional intimacy and cohesion.
Couple's Dialogue (Sept.): Sit with each other and take turns sharing with each other what you each appreciate and honor about the other. Tell each other what you're most grateful for about being in a relationship with each other. Give him lots of positive strokes for all that he brings to your life. Communicate with each other the types of physical affection behaviors that you most desire and enjoy. Remember that what feels good to you may not necessarily jive with your partner's tastes.
Couple's Activity (Oct.): Become more conscious about the power of physical touch and affection in your relationship. Hold hands, give each other massages, hug and hold each other, sit in each other's laps while watching television. At day's end, ask yourself "Have I done anything today that let my partner how much I care about him?" If not, make sure to do something before retiring for bed.
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NOVEMBER & DECEMBER: SEXUAL INTIMACY