Boyfriend Quest: Defining Your Vision


Boyfriend Quest: Defining Your Vision
This article addresses helping gay men develop a vision for their future life partner and offers sug

Take out a notebook and pen and write about your visualization experience and what you learned. Ask yourself such questions as: "Who am I?" "What do I want?" "What are my values?" "Who is my potential partner and what does he stand for?" etc. Avoid placing too much emphasis on the "other" in this exercise. It's essential that you balance this with self-knowledge as well, recognizing what "makes you tick" and what your needs and guiding principles are. Identify potential obstacles that could get in the way along your path to finding Mr. Right and pinpoint resources available to you to help overcome them. Write it all down!

4. Express Yourself


Get creative and create some type of artistic outlet or expression to serve as a symbolic visual representation of your future boyfriend, relationship, or lifestyle. Draw or paint a picture of your vision. Write a poem or a song depicting your vision. Make a colorful poster, collage, or mobile. Let yourself go! And let your creation be a visual reminder and source of inspiration to you!


Developing your vision is a great starting point for creating a roadmap to the man and type of relationship you're seeking. The important thing to remember is that you CAN take charge of your dating life and make things happen for yourself. Defining your vision helps you to plan, prioritize, and respond effectively to challenges along the way in your dating journey. Give yourself permission to dream! Once you have your vision, your next movement involves developing "next steps" with this knowledge, including designing an action plan.

© Dr. Brian L. Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

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Brian Rzepczynski


Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, Licensed Relationship Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating, relationship, and sexual enrichment tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit

Location: Aurora, IL
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Gay/Lesbian/Identity Issues, Sex Therapy
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