When Sex Hurts ... Am I Allergic To My Husband?

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When Sex Hurts ...  Am I Allergic To My Husband?
From Sexual Pain to Sexual Pleasure.. Awaken Your Sensual Prime

Dr. Rankin did what is known as a qtip test and Tinamarie was finally diagnosed with Vestibulitis.  There was no particular reason why it happened and because she was pregnant there was no treatment available so she was told to purchase a vibrator.  As Tinamarie was driving home with all of this new information she thought about the fact that Vestibulitis was an allergic reaction she had during sex and therefore she must be allergic to her husband, the only man she was sexually active with. Can you imagine being allergic to your husband?

The night her son was conceived was the last time Tinamarie had sex with her husband. When her son was two, she ended up leaving the marriage.  At the age of 37, in a therapy appointment, Tinamarie cried her eyes out at the thought of "no man ever wanting her" because she was “damaged goods” and “broken”.

She finally broke down and decided to go buy a vibrator, a scary proposition.  Tinamarie had never been in a sex shop and was uncomfortable at the thought so she invited two friends to accompany her. Looking at the vibrators and realizing she couldn’t even use a Tampon, so how was she going to use the vibrator?  Using the vibrator turned out to be the first time she was able to experience an orgasm without the excruciating pain she had endured for so many years.

Newly single and ready to date, Tinamarie met an amazing man who became her lover.  In their lovemaking, it was the first time in her life she was able to fully experience the healing of sexual pleasure with a man.  For the first time in more than 10 years, she was able to experience pleasure and penetration. After experiencing so much pain, being able to experience so much pleasure was really refreshing in so many ways. She was saved!

The Irony of Tinamarie’s sex life … her first sexual experience included being multiple orgasmic so she was capable of experiencing pleasure in her body.  After many years of experiencing so much pain, it was her new lover who activated her orgasmic sex life once again. 

Tinamarie started to write her story and found she was a great writer.  As people read what she was writing about, she became a paid writer for relationship columns where she could talk about these important issues like: Alternet, Green Profit, Elephant Journal, Owning Pink, Mind-Body-Green, and she was getting all kinds of traction.  As her writing career was building, people reading her writing were privately contacting her asking her if she could help them through their sexual pain. 

It was decision time.  Was Tinamarie going to come out openly and talk about her sexual pain?  It almost felt like admitting you are the poster child for broken vaginas. She realized her calling of bringing the message of sexual healing and sustainability to the world.  Tinamarie connects the dogs between sex, health, body image, eco consciousness, and relationships.  Her background is in science, sales, spirituality, and writing.

Article contributed by
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Bonnie Gayle

Sex Educator

Bonnie Gayle

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