Next, imagine that the auditory nerves that are in your ears – those that allow you to take in sounds - have regenerated over your entire body. Suddenly you can hear through your skin!. In this mind frame, take in your lover’s words through your toes, between your fingers. behind your knees, in the bend in your elbows. Let these sensual words and sounds melt into the small of your back, the nape of your neck, the palms of your hands. Allow them to softly penetrate your chest and enter your heart. Let these luscious sounds in through your abdomen, your thighs, your genitals. As you listen through these new auditory nerves, notice in what ways and in which parts of your body they affect you the most. Notice where they sooth and relax you, where they warm and inspire you, and where they stir and excite you. Whatever their impact, just observe and enjoy.
Before you reverse roles, so that your partner has a chance to experience being the receiver of your verbal caresses, I suggest the following exchange:
Let your partner know what he said to you, or the way she used her voice, that you found especially pleasurable. And, if there were elements that didn’t work, see if you can envision what it would take to make them work for you. Once you have a clear idea, share that image with your lover. Maybe you’d like him to speak more softly or slowly or her to use a lower register of her voice. In other words, instead of telling your partner what turned you off, let him know what he could do instead to turn you on. But remember to first appreciate your partner for the parts that did work. That way, you will be less likely to trigger a defensive response and more likely to elicit empathy and grace.
As you continue to practice the art of sensual listening, your sensitivity to your lover’s words and voice will intensify. Just think of what fun you can both have simply conversing on the phone with one another. That’s a topic I’ll address in a future article. Stay tuned..