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• Hi Kate. I understand your concern. Many people would not be ready to move forward that quickly after such a loss. Here is what I've learned after my years of being a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40: Everyone has a story. This is especially true of those of us who are dating later in life. If you are interested in getting to know someone, it's always worthwhile to hear their story before jumping to conclusions. When I met my husband he was separated, and when I found out I told him I didn't want to date him. That was a deal-breaker for me because, at age 47, I wanted to get married! I needed a man who was emotionally open and 100% ready for a lifelong commitment; and I assumed he wasn't. After three weeks of knowing me he filed for divorce. We married six months after we met and have been incredibly happy together for over six years. Had I chosen not to hear his story, I wouldn't be where I am today: in love with a wonderful man and helping other women find what I have found. If he seems like a good man who has potential to be a good mate for you, give him a chance to tell you his story. You don't need every detail; just enough to make a decision that feels good for you. I wish you the best! SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: dating a widower

• Melshie - I'm sorry but I have to agree with everything said here. So often we fall in love with what we THINK a man is or what we want him to be. We want love so much that we can create it in our minds. And once we "believe" we are in love, we can throw all sensibility out and simply disregard contrary evidence. What I'm saying here is that you really don't know enough about this man to be in love with him. Perhaps you are in love with the IDEA of being in love. What Inez said is 100% true: when a man wants to see you he will. Unfortunately he just doesn't seem sincere. it sounds to me like he's stringing you along. There can be reasons for this: he's married or otherwise attached, he's not that interested...regardless he's not willing to give you what you really want: true love. Sounds to me that what he wants most is for you to be in love with him. That usually comes from ego; not the heart. Here's an article that may help you. http://datelikeagrownup.com/2010/06/dating-the-somewhat-disappearing-man/ I know this isn't the advice you wanted to hear, but in my experience coaching many, many women, it seems to be true and one day I' know yo'll be glad you heard it. I wish you the very best. SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Should I tell him how I ...

• Hi "allsmiles." I'm sorry to say that I am suspect. We can't know what his real situation is, but here is what we DO know: he doesn't want to or isn't able to meet you. If a man is looking for love and he is interested in you, he will find a way to be with you. I would suggest that, instead of trying to figure out his intentions, simply consider whether you are getting what you want and need from this "relationship." I'll venture to say that the honest answer is "no." If you are looking for a real, meaningful relationship I doubt this fulfills you. If it doesn't, it's time for you to take care of yourself and move on. And when you do, try not to waste your energy trying to guess about him. That's all you'll be doing: guessing. You'll probably never know the truth. Here is what you will know: that you treated yourself with respect and are one step closer to meeting a fabulous man who will treat you lovingly. SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Legit

• Dear Yessiritsme, First off: I'm so sorry for your loss. It's true that dating in your 40's has some unique challenges. But it's actually the BEST time to be looking for love. I married for the first time at age 47 and am now a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40. I am real-life proof, as are my many happy clients, that there is fabulous love to be found later in life. There are some new rules, but here is what's always true: be the best "You" you can be, know yourself and be yourself. I agree with Jonathon: most men are looking for love and companionship, just as you are. They are looking for someone sincere, loving and nice to be with. That's you, right? If so, and you're able to BE that woman when you meet men, you'll attract the right guy. There are TONS of grownup men out there looking for mature, independent and experienced women to partner with. My husband was in his late 50's when we married, and he is damn glad he met me! :) I have a free e-Course called "The 7 Major Dating Mistakes Women over 40 Make in Their Search for Love." I know you'll find some tips that will help you. http://datelikeagrownup.com/over40/ . With love and support, Bobbi Palmer SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: dating again after 20 ...

• Hi Racheal. Rather than ask what you should do about checking his stuff, I'd like to hear you ask "is he a good guy for me?" Is this a man who meets your must-haves and even basic needs? I assume you hope to be in a relationship that includes trust, respect and mutual admiration? Is this "relationship" offering that? I won't presume the answer; but I'm thinking it's pretty clear to you. There are good guys out there. No need to stick with one who isn't. If you are sticking around and not getting your needs me, you may want to ask yourself why...and how can you move past it? Generally, when you love and respect yourself, men will too! Best to you! Bobbi Palmer http://datelkeagrownup.com SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Give Advice: He Hides His ...

Great article! For the woman who's waiting around and wondering, this puts a name to the situation so she can then decide if she wants to accept this or move on. As a note: I moved on after 3.5 years with a Chicken Little and cried for a year. Now looking back, I'm SO grateful I did because I'm married to the most fantastic man now. It all works out if you're willing to make good decisions and take care of yourself.
Posted on: No Marriage Proposal? 5 Reasons He's Stalling
You've got a good point yourself Lyz. Thanks for our comment. And it just keeps getting uglier and uglier, doesn't it?
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Hi "Lovinit" Thanks so much for your comment and for your kudos! Congratulations for holding to your "must-have's." Like you said it's especially important with kids. Here is another article you may like: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/bobbi-palmer/there-are-no-quality-men-dateits-myth . Love to know your thoughts on it. Best to you in your search for love.
Posted on: Why Women Over 40 Should Be Picky Daters…
Oh my gosh, what nonsense this ruckus is! This is about having some fun, keeping a kid entertained and maybe teaching a child that it's ok to think for himself. Oh no! Can't have that! If these people are so worried about giving little boys the wrong signals...how about we worry about 5 year old boys going to places like Hooters "Family" restaurant and learning objectification of women as soon as they can leave the house..something that actually does contribute to bad behavior when they grow to be men? Sorry...didn't mean to get on my soapbox. Just bugs me when attention is paid to silly stuff and the important stuff is just glossed over. If I ran the world it would be oh so different!
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What a beautiful piece! Just reading it through gave me such a sense of peace!
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