Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Why Every Single Woman Should Use a Vibrator

Love, Self

Think that as a single woman in her 40s or above that masturbation isn't for you? Think again.

Masturbation. There…I said it. The "Big M." I don't generally talk about this, so it may shock you. But the time has come to chat about the role sex – or lack thereof – plays in the life of a woman in her later years who is single and looking for love.

There are many circumstances that may render a woman celibate for extended periods of time, especially if she's a single woman over 40. The days of hooking up are over, and until she finds a meaningful relationship she's keeping her lovely legs crossed. She may have come out of a loveless, sexless marriage that lasted way too many years. Or maybe she's so scared of being rejected for her not-so-elastic skin that she persists in finding excuses to keep her clothes on. (This includes ending potentially good relationships to avoid getting naked.) Oh, and don't forget that she's menopausal: the icing on the cake!

The longer the span of celibacy extends, the more likely she is to hyperventilate at the thought of intimacy. So she keeps putting it off, and the clock keeps ticking.

She's had plenty of opportunities, thank you very much. She need only hop online, turn on her chat feature, sit back and wait for the conversations that start with "Do you like to kiss?" and move quickly to "So…what's your favorite position, baby?" She can get laid; she just doesn't want to.

Now…here is my very personal confession: "She" was me.

I married for the first time at age 47, and I went on hiatus many times during my 30 unmarried years. I am more than familiar with the sexual abyss. And now, as a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I help many women move through this part of their life.

My experience is that life without touch and sex can lead to a woman feeling unattractive or even asexual. To adapt, we may convince ourselves that a life without sex is okay -- which creates the slippery slope to believing that life without a partner is okay.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at Date Like A Grownup. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Author
Expert

Explore YourTango