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Why Being Rejected Really Doesn’t Hurt as Much as You Think

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Remember when you were a child and the doctor gave you a shot…and you screamed your bloody head off?! Now seriously…did it really hurt that much? Of course not.

Fast forward 30, 40, or 50 years and think about how horrible you feel when a man you like doesn’t show interest or drops you like a hot potato. I ask you again, does it really hurt that much? Probably not.

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Here’s what I say about that: Girlfriend, you’ve slain way worse dragons in your life than a man not returning your interest.

I honestly think we like the drama. Or we’re just simply used to it. It starts with the shot, continues relentlessly and painfully through our teenage years, and just seems to stick with us. It’s what we do.

So next time you find yourself moving into that place – the I’ll never find anyone, I thought he might be the one, I liked him so much, I’ll be alone the rest of my life place….stop! Switch off your young girl and reach for your intelligent, experienced woman. Ask yourself: Is this really that big of a deal in relation to my life? Does it really hurt that much? Then, give your pain the brief audience it deserves, and move the heck on.

More from YourTango: 5 Reasons To Look Forward To Your 50s ... In Bed

Oh, and one more thing, that shot was good for you in the long run. I can make the same case for that relationship gone bad or the one that never got off the ground. Every one of these gives you practice and more experience with knowing yourself, and what you want and don't want in a man and a relationship. Like that shot, it only hurts for one split second. And when the real pain goes away (not the imagined one our 18 year old is feeling) you are better for the experience.

Gotta go. Be good to yourself.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Author

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

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I can say from personal experience that your 50s are the best time to experience love. While you might have been hooking up all over the place in your 20s, your choices were probably pretty crappy because you — like me in my 20s — had no idea what would create any kind of real happiness in your life. Your 30s are all about turning into a ... Read more

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I know I sound like a broken record about the benefits of dating online, especially if you are single and over 40. I’m going to continue to nag you about this because I want what you want: for you to find the man of your dreams, and to never let each other go. Getting online is the best way to make that happen. Go ahead, take the test, I promise ... Read more

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