Remember when you were a child and the doctor gave you a shot…and you screamed your bloody head off?! Now seriously…did it really hurt that much? Of course not.
Fast forward 30, 40, or 50 years and think about how horrible you feel when a man you like doesn’t show interest or drops you like a hot potato. I ask you again, does it really hurt that much? Probably not.
Here’s what I say about that: Girlfriend, you’ve slain way worse dragons in your life than a man not returning your interest.
I honestly think we like the drama. Or we’re just simply used to it. It starts with the shot, continues relentlessly and painfully through our teenage years, and just seems to stick with us. It’s what we do.
So next time you find yourself moving into that place – the I’ll never find anyone, I thought he might be the one, I liked him so much, I’ll be alone the rest of my life place….stop! Switch off your young girl and reach for your intelligent, experienced woman. Ask yourself: Is this really that big of a deal in relation to my life? Does it really hurt that much? Then, give your pain the brief audience it deserves, and move the heck on.
Oh, and one more thing, that shot was good for you in the long run. I can make the same case for that relationship gone bad or the one that never got off the ground. Every one of these gives you practice and more experience with knowing yourself, and what you want and don't want in a man and a relationship. Like that shot, it only hurts for one split second. And when the real pain goes away (not the imagined one our 18 year old is feeling) you are better for the experience.
Gotta go. Be good to yourself.
Bobbi Palmer, founder of Date Like A Grownup, is an internationally recognized Expert helping women over 40 find grownup, lasting, passionate love with the right man. As a first time bride at 47, Bobbi shares in her free video series "The 4 Devastating Mistakes Women in their Search for Love" at DateLikeaGrownup.com.