Whether we admit it or not, wanting to be liked is a huge part of the dating process. I think it's important to clarify, though, that you want to be liked by the right men. When you politely tell Joe to please not call after 9, he can honor it or not. But you have honored yourself.
This really is pretty simple: take care of yourself with men the same way you do with your friends. A man doesn't get a pass just because he's hot and you really want to hook up. By the same token, there is no need to be demanding or critical; just ask and let him decide what he's willing to do.