What Looking for Love and Birthing a Baby Have in Common

By

What Looking for Love and Birthing a Baby Have in Common
Childbirth's a lot like finding a marriage material mate: some pain, and then bliss.

There are so many women I care deeply about —both friends and clients — who are holding themselves back from bringing love into their lives. Are you one of them? Are you saying "I want a fabulous man in my life" and "I know I'm a catch," yet not doing much to actually reach your self-described all-important goal? Are you doing the same routine each day, expecting things to be different? Are you staying closed in your head and your heart, unwilling to learn to better understand and love men...and yourself? If that's you, I can bet you haven't found him because of "Fear of Fill-in-the-blank." We all have different fears, but it comes down to the same thing: a big wall between us and what we want in life. And for you, it is to love and be loved.

Well, the New Year is starting. Let's face it, girls; the clock is ticking. I'm here to encourage you to get laser-focused on this goal and go for it. And the best way I know how to help you do this is to help alleviate your fears.

 

That's where childbirth comes in. (Stay with me on this one.)

I have no biological children of my own, so childbirth is kind of a foreign concept to me. One thing that's always stood out about the process is how a woman could be in such incredible pain and suddenly…POOF! She was A-Okay. It seems that once a gorgeous child enters the world, women forget both the pains of pregnancy and the horrors of childbirth. I can only guess it's because of the strength of their love for that child.

That describes exactly how I feel about dating and finding love. I was reminded of this last weekend as Larry and I shared two distinct but telling experiences.

On Sunday Larry and I were uploading images into iPhoto and spontaneously spent over an hour going through our honeymoon pictures, reliving our wonderful wedding and honeymoon. (It WAS amazing!) We took the opportunity to remind ourselves how lucky and loving we are. I kept thinking that it was such hard work to find this man, but now that I have it's changed my life...forever and for the better. Meeting him is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. It was through this lens that we made some decisions about where to go together in 2012.

On the flip side, the next day we moved my mother from an apartment she's been in for five years into a residential facility. It was a very emotional day for me and my brother, but Larry was right by my side the whole time. He worked his butt off physically by helping organize and move my mother's billions of things,. On top of that he really understood the emotional difficulty of the situation. He supported me even though there were multiple times he was frustrated beyond words at our slow pace. His patience with me is beyond what I should expect. And then he let me whine about the experience the whole way home. And most days thereafter. (I'm pretty sure I'm done. Thank you , honey.)

These two experiences—one that was heartwarming and one that was horrible—emphasized how incredibly fulfilling it is for me to have found a great grownup relationship with a good man.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Holiday Gift Giving Tips For The Mature, Single And Dating

By

It’s The Holidays. That oh so awkward time for those who are single, dating or in a new relationship. Yah, you’re dating after 40, but you may still have the same questions about gift giving that you had when you were 20: Do I give him a gift? If so, what? What if I get him something and he doesn’t get me anything? Or vice versa? If ... Read more

What 100+ Single Men Think About Cheating, Love And YOU

By

The last few months I've been focused on men—who they are, what dating is like for them, what they want, what they mean when they say or do certain things, what they think about your body, and why they disappear. As a matter of fact, last week we recorded a brand new panel of men with three totally mature, marriage minded, good looking guys. I ... Read more

Think Like A Man? No, But You'll Be Happier If You Date Like One!

By

Emotional exhaustion. Hopelessness. Hating men and/or yourself. That is what you experience when women are dating the wrong way. You start to feel like it’s just not worth all the nonsense, hurt and disappointment. Why bother? You have a pretty good life, so why are you bothering? I’ll tell you why: Because you have to date if you want love ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular