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What if this is Your Last Valentine’s Day as a Single Woman?

Happy Lady
Love, Self

How would that change how you feel about this “Singles Awareness Day"?

What if you KNEW this was going to be your last Valentine’s Day as a single woman? The last one spent with “me, myself and I,” with a pack of single girlfriends or alone on your couch?

How would that change how you interact, what you choose to do and how you feel about this “Singles Awareness Day?”

If I had known that Valentine’s Day 2005 was going to be my last as a single woman, here is what I might have done instead of grumbling about how stupid it was and feeling somehow “less-than” as I ate dinner and drank wine alone at home.

I would have:

  • Gone out with my single girlfriends and looked at them lovingly, with compassion and gratitude for all that we shared together…knowing that once I got married our friendships would forever change, but that they would still be a joyous, significant part of my life. Yes, I’d tell them, I will have a new focus to my life and a little less time, but my deep love, admiration and need for our connection won’t diminish one bit.
  • Treated myself to a facial or nice bottle of champagne toasting to all that I accomplished on my own. Savoring the confidence and competence I earned by having tackled life by myself for so long. I would feel proud of myself and a little wistful knowing I was happily retiring my independence as my badge of honor.
  • Gone to a restaurant with some friends and, instead of looking at all the happy couples with envy and resentment, I’d smile and feel a certain warmth knowing I was surrounded by people who loved each other and were celebrating that love. When you think of it, what’s better than that, I’d opine.
  • Surprised my dad by dropping by and bringing him some of his favorite onion bagels, lox and cream cheese. After all, he spent more Valentine’s days with me than any other man. Previously the thought of spending Valentine’s Day with my Pops would have made me feel pathetic. But knowing I’d be with my honey from here on out would help me see that option with gratitude instead of self pity.
  • Volunteered at my local homeless shelter or women’s shelter. Maybe I’d have even bought a bunch of cheap valentines and handed them out there. People do this on other holidays, but since Valentine’s Day is about love, what better way to show it than by compassionately sharing with those who most need to feel valued experience and feel a sense of hope?

Knowing that I was going to spend the rest of my Valentine’s Days with the love of my life would fill me with excitement about my future and gratitude and pride for my past. I would have known that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in my life: on the journey that was leading me to many, many more years of joyously and openly giving and receiving love.

Knowing it was my last single Valentine’s Day would have totally changed how I treated myself and those around me.

How about you? How would this Valentine’s Day be for you if you knew it were your last as a single woman? I want to hear from you.

And, btw, if this helped you at all, will you share with your friends?

Bobbi Palmer, founder of Date Like A Grownup, is an internationally recognized Expert helping women over 40 find grownup, lasting, passionate love with the right man. As a first time bride at 47, Bobbi shares in her free video series "The 4 Devastating Mistakes Women in their Search for Love" at

This article was originally published at Date Like A Grownup. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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