Two Simple Thoughts That Will Change the Way You Date

By

Two Simple Thoughts That Will Change the Way You Date

My guess is that you’ve been dating a while and not getting great results. You’re here reading this, after all. The best way to shift into having dates that render positive outcomes – like having more fun and eventually meeting The One – is to change the way you talk to yourself before you even leave the house.

Whether it’s a meet-date or a date-date, there are two things you can tell yourself that will improve your chances of meeting Mr. I Love You. And here’s the great thing about this: it’s 100% in your control. (After all, we do love our control, don’t we?)

Self-talk #1: “I hope I like him.”

This was the one thing I learned from my coach that changed my entire dating experience. For years I lived in a perpetual state of disappointment and self-doubt. Why aren’t they picking me?! Then I learned these magic words: I hope I like HIM.

We usually approach meeting men with the “I hope he likes me” feeling. Then, anything short of getting a second date feels like a personal rejection and failure. But what if you start with whether he seems to be someone you like? Can you see the difference?

The focus then shifts to how you and what you want and need. You stop trying to read his mind – Does he like me? What did he mean by that? – to what really counts: how you feel being with him and if you are having a nice time.

Self-talk #2: “Discover, don’t Decide.”

There is hoping you like him, and then there is hoping that every date will be your last. This is especially true of women dating over 40. Enough already, right? But let’s face it: all but one of your dates will be your last. If you go to each telling yourself “I hope he’s The One,” you will explode from the pressure.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at Date Like A Grownup. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Why Midlife Sex Is The Best Sex

By

Can I make a few assumptions? If you’re reading this you are most likely a woman over 40, single and looking. You are probably dating, or hoping to. You are either nearing menopause, in menopause or post-menopausal. Taken together, here’s what that tells me: You are facing the prospect of having new sexual partners. After all, you have hopes of ... Read more

Let's Get Physical, Or Should We? 5 Tips For Midlife Dating

By

Wanna hear your body talk? If the idea of having sex in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond is intimidating, you are not alone. I get a lot of questions about the whats and hows of having sex “in this day and age” and at this stage of life. You crave intimacy, but the last thing you want is to sleep with a guy and get hung up like an 18-year-old. ... Read more

3 “Ah-Ha!” Differences Between Dating Men And Boys

By

If you are a single woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond, I have a question for you: When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truth? And what about when it comes to ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular