The Truth About Reading Men's Minds

By

The Truth About Reading Men's Minds

This came up yesterday as I was talking with my coaching client, Nancy. She used aDate 911 coupon and we talked as she was arriving home after her first date with a man she connected with on plentyofffish.com.

She gave me a detailed account of the he-said-she-said.” She asked me why I thought he seemed to avoid talking about his daughter; do I think they are estranged? Why I thought he wore such casual clothes; wasn’t that disrespectful? Why he ordered soda and not wine; is he an alcoholic? And finally…do I think he was interested?

She had decided he was just another guy who wasn’t for her. She was disappointed, but thought it was “okay, because he probably wasn’t going to call her anyway.”

What’s the answer to all her questions? Beats the heck out of me. I have no idea.

What I do know is that Nancy was spinning out of control. She was over thinking and trying to read his mind. This wasn’t analysis …it was imagination.

Susan was exhausting herself in an attempt to fill in the blanks. She couldn’t live with the mystery or, I think, the possibility of rejection, so like many women do, she veered her story toward the negative.

So I played along and suggested alternative stories. What if his daughter is ill or has passed? Maybe he wore casual clothes because men often feel this initial meeting isn’t a formal date; he waits to impress on the real first date. Maybe he didn’t drink because he wanted to keep his wits and make the best possible impression.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Why Midlife Sex Is The Best Sex

By

Can I make a few assumptions? If you’re reading this you are most likely a woman over 40, single and looking. You are probably dating, or hoping to. You are either nearing menopause, in menopause or post-menopausal. Taken together, here’s what that tells me: You are facing the prospect of having new sexual partners. After all, you have hopes of ... Read more

Let's Get Physical, Or Should We? 5 Tips For Midlife Dating

By

Wanna hear your body talk? If the idea of having sex in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond is intimidating, you are not alone. I get a lot of questions about the whats and hows of having sex “in this day and age” and at this stage of life. You crave intimacy, but the last thing you want is to sleep with a guy and get hung up like an 18-year-old. ... Read more

3 “Ah-Ha!” Differences Between Dating Men And Boys

By

If you are a single woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond, I have a question for you: When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truth? And what about when it comes to ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB