To Call Or Not To Call?

By

To Call Or Not To Call?
Tempted to call a man to firm up tentative plans? Don't. Here's why.

It’s Monday and you’re talking on the phone with a nice guy you’re interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this:

Nice Guy: Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday night?

 

You: Yes, that would be nice.

Nice Guy: Okay, I’ll call you later in the week to firm up the plans. I’m looking forward to it.

You: Me too. Talk then.

[Click.]

You: Woohoo!!!!!! (Okay…I added that on for dramatic effect.)

You like him, and you’re looking forward to Saturday. In fact, you’re already wondering what you’re going to wear and what you’re going to talk about.

Wednesday there is no call. Thursday there is no call. Friday morning comes, and you wonder, “Do we actually have a date?” You’re disappointed: maybe a little mad. You’re fretting over what to do next.

You email your friend or your dating coach and ask: What should I do? Should I call him?

Unfortunately, this is a common situation — especially when you’re meeting men using online dating. What follows is my email exchange with my private coaching client, “Jean.” Not only do I answer whether she should call him, I help her make sure this situation doesn’t happen again.

Here is her letter to me:

Hi Bobbi:

My date for Saturday hasn’t confirmed place or time. If I don’t hear from him by this afternoon, is it okay if I email or call him and ask him if we are still on?

~Jean

——————–

Hi Jean. No. I would not email or call him. I know it’s difficult to wait…kind of painful even. But he asked you out and, although it was up in the air about the details, it was set to do a particular thing on a particular night. That’s a date, right? Wait and see what he does.

Whether a man keeps his word is, of course, extremely important. It’s on your list as a must-have. You want him to know you’re serious about finding a man whose word you can trust and that you respect yourself and expect him to as well. As important is letting him take the lead, especially at the beginning.

The gal who emails “just to confirm” sends the signal she’s willing to accept him even if he doesn’t come through with his promises. And you, Jean, are not that gal. That gal also says “yes” when he calls on Friday afternoon for a Friday evening date. She’s the woman he plays with, not the one he marries.

I’m not saying that if he doesn’t get in touch, you should forget about him. Something may have come up out of the ordinary that prevented him from coming through. But it’s important to see what he’s going to do without prompting. Hold tight! This is where you set the pace for all that comes next.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Holiday Gift Giving Tips For The Mature, Single And Dating

By

It’s The Holidays. That oh so awkward time for those who are single, dating or in a new relationship. Yah, you’re dating after 40, but you may still have the same questions about gift giving that you had when you were 20: Do I give him a gift? If so, what? What if I get him something and he doesn’t get me anything? Or vice versa? If ... Read more

What 100+ Single Men Think About Cheating, Love And YOU

By

The last few months I've been focused on men—who they are, what dating is like for them, what they want, what they mean when they say or do certain things, what they think about your body, and why they disappear. As a matter of fact, last week we recorded a brand new panel of men with three totally mature, marriage minded, good looking guys. I ... Read more

Think Like A Man? No, But You'll Be Happier If You Date Like One!

By

Emotional exhaustion. Hopelessness. Hating men and/or yourself. That is what you experience when women are dating the wrong way. You start to feel like it’s just not worth all the nonsense, hurt and disappointment. Why bother? You have a pretty good life, so why are you bothering? I’ll tell you why: Because you have to date if you want love ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular