One Surprising Way Men Help Us While Hurting Us


One Surprising Way Men Help Us While Hurting Us
How to handle rejection and move on to a better relationship.

It's no wonder that sometimes the slightest hint of possibility can make us attach and fight like hell to never let go! Men, on the other hand, can have great fun and even physical intimacy with a woman and still never feel strong emotional attachment. Unlike us, regardless of how much he likes you, he can walk away once he evaluates and concludes that you are not his long-term, forever match.

Like Steve, he may stick around as long as gets a nice woman to have good sex with. But he can just as easily detach and continue his hunt. Here is something else men seem to be better at: They don't hop on the back of the first truck that stops just because they are afraid another one may not come by. Men are generally better at escaping the rosy "wouldn't it be great if we could ride off into the romantic sunset" mindset. They don't try to fit a round peg in a square hole simply because they want to be in love and mate for life.


Here is what we have trouble understanding: most of the time his lack of commitment or walking away has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong or not being good enough. He knows something about himself that you don’t yet know, and it tells him that he can't achieve forever bliss with you. It may be your religion, relationship to money or general lifestyle. You may be too tall, too extroverted or too intellectual.

Maybe he doesn't connect with your sense of humor or vision of the future. Or, just like you've probably experienced with other men, maybe he can't articulate it…it's just "something" that he knows. Maybe he knows that, based on what you want and need, he won't be able to give it to you. That will send a good guy running. (Which is still good…do you see that?) A nice guy won't stay if he knows he can't make you happy.

My advice to L and any other woman who is hanging on waiting and wishing that a man would pick her, is this:

He who is not willing to commit, he who has designated himself suitable for now but not forever, or he who is not into labels or exclusivity after you've dated for a while… he isn’t the man for you. Keep reading...

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!


Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
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