Key #1 To Finding Hope And Finding Him: Me First

By

Key #1 To Finding Hope And Finding Him: Me First
Before you can find a man to love & appreciate you for who you are, you must first love yourself.

This is the first in a series of articles sharing my 5 Keys to Finding Hope and Finding Him. The 5 Keys are:

M - Me and Me first.
A - Assess your list.
S - Shed your stuff.
T - Time to get out and Trail blaze.
R - Real women find their man.

 

A single man I know once said, “If a woman doesn’t seem to love herself, why should I love her?”

That makes sense. Keep in mind that:
• The way you treat yourself is how others will treat you.
• What you expect from people is what you will receive.

This is especially true of how men look at women. When asked what qualities most attract them to women as partners (not just playmates), most men place confidence on the top of the list.

If you’re going to make positive changes in the way you date and relate to men, your starting point is with you.

I want to be really clear: This isn’t about remaking yourself or figuring out all the things you’re doing wrong. It’s somewhat the opposite of that. It’s about falling in love with yourself. This means appreciating yourself, showing yourself some kindness (like you do to everyone else), and being willing to do some honest self-reflection.

To help you, I want to share an exercise I guide my coaching and telecourse clients though to help them get better acquainted with themselves. It’s my “Who Am I” exercise. I can’t give you all the steps in this short time, but here is the first:

Ask yourself: What do I love about myself? That’s it!

Ask that out loud and then check in with yourself: How does it make you feel to even ask that question? Do you feel uncomfortable or selfish even thinking about describing what you love about yourself? If so, you’re not alone. This is difficult for most women. After squirming a bit, they may come up with a few standard things and then run into a brink wall. I often support women through several rounds of this exercise before they really get it. And when they do, it’s glorious.

Most of us have been trained to some degree that thinking of ourselves in this way is conceited or unladylike. It’s something the vast majority of us have never done except maybe in the context of a job application. (And those are all of our masculine qualities.) Most women have never even attempted to take a good look at themselves this way.

Well…it’s time you do. When you are in touch with you fabulousness – when you can actually articulate what it is that makes you a good friend, good mother, good daughter and good partner – it allows you to believe that it’s real. And that belief – that you are deserving – is essential to being able to date with courage and confidence, maintain your self-esteem and, ultimately, make choices that are good for you and will truly make you happy.

Here is an important tip: It doesn’t have to be that you can cure cancer, that you’re a CEO or that you can speak five languages. Attributes like being a good friend, being loyal, being able to gracefully handle life’s ups and downs, raising happy children…these are all things to absolutely love about yourself.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Holiday Gift Giving Tips For The Mature, Single And Dating

By

It’s The Holidays. That oh so awkward time for those who are single, dating or in a new relationship. Yah, you’re dating after 40, but you may still have the same questions about gift giving that you had when you were 20: Do I give him a gift? If so, what? What if I get him something and he doesn’t get me anything? Or vice versa? If ... Read more

What 100+ Single Men Think About Cheating, Love And YOU

By

The last few months I've been focused on men—who they are, what dating is like for them, what they want, what they mean when they say or do certain things, what they think about your body, and why they disappear. As a matter of fact, last week we recorded a brand new panel of men with three totally mature, marriage minded, good looking guys. I ... Read more

Think Like A Man? No, But You'll Be Happier If You Date Like One!

By

Emotional exhaustion. Hopelessness. Hating men and/or yourself. That is what you experience when women are dating the wrong way. You start to feel like it’s just not worth all the nonsense, hurt and disappointment. Why bother? You have a pretty good life, so why are you bothering? I’ll tell you why: Because you have to date if you want love ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular