Flirting for Grownups: 4 Ways to Get His Attention Online or Out

By

Flirting for Grownups: 4 Ways to Get His Attention Online or Out
How women over 40 who date can learn how to find the right man online or out and about.

 

3. Show off, sister.


This may be difficult for you; it is for many women. We aren't used to talking about ourselves because we've been told it’s selfish and braggadocious (love that word!). Real ladies are humble and let the man shine, right? No. That's nonsense.

You've got to get over this if you want to help men get to know you. They want you to talk about yourself (at least the good guys do). He's only going to know how fabulous you are—and if you're a good match—if you get some of your shiny stuff out. Don't be afraid to share your passions, interests, accomplishments, interesting life experiences, and plans for the future.

You will get attention and get dates by showing the confidence to tell him who you are. You will be memorable and may be just a bit enticing. A warning though: as my husband says, men listen in headlines while women talk in stories! Don't tell him long stories. Keep it brief, and if he's a match for you, he will want more.

Whether online or off, it's important that you show real and revealing glimpses of who you are and what you care about. The right guy will be drawn to you, and the wrong guy won't. Isn't that perfect?

4. Show clear interest.


A simple "Nice talking to you" isn't enough. Everyone says that, and it's likely to be filed under the "She's just being polite" category. Instead, add something to that. "It was nice talking to you, Bob. It would be nice to do it again." That makes it clear that you're open, and it shows that ever-attractive confidence (you can apply this every step of the way: "It was great to get your email, Bob. I look forward to continuing our conversation…and so on).

There's a big difference between this and asking him out. After you deliver this line, stop! You have helped him feel safe and appreciated. He knows you will say yes if he asks (men really do appreciate this...just think of how many times they've heard "no" in their lives!). If he's interested, he will make a move.

One last note: Remember that if he doesn't go for your attempt, he probably knows something you don't know about why you're not a good match (he wants someone taller, is obsessed with something you don't like, sees his last horrible girlfriend in you, etc.).

Don't let it discourage you. You'll get points in your dating karma bank by making him feel good about himself, and it will be easier to do it the next time with the guy who may be your perfect match.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking flirting is tacky or that you can't be good at it. Flirting is definitely for mature daters; we just do it a little differently. Even if it doesn't come naturally, there is hope! Use these techniques and enjoy the positive responses you get and the power it gives you (yes..I said power!). I'm confident you'll go from thinking of flirting as a necessary evil to looking forward to the next opportunity to strike up a connection and share yourself with a nice man!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Why Midlife Sex Is The Best Sex

By

Can I make a few assumptions? If you’re reading this you are most likely a woman over 40, single and looking. You are probably dating, or hoping to. You are either nearing menopause, in menopause or post-menopausal. Taken together, here’s what that tells me: You are facing the prospect of having new sexual partners. After all, you have hopes of ... Read more

Let's Get Physical, Or Should We? 5 Tips For Midlife Dating

By

Wanna hear your body talk? If the idea of having sex in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond is intimidating, you are not alone. I get a lot of questions about the whats and hows of having sex “in this day and age” and at this stage of life. You crave intimacy, but the last thing you want is to sleep with a guy and get hung up like an 18-year-old. ... Read more

3 “Ah-Ha!” Differences Between Dating Men And Boys

By

If you are a single woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond, I have a question for you: When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truth? And what about when it comes to ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular