Flirting for Grownups: 4 Ways to Get His Attention Online or Out

By

Flirting for Grownups: 4 Ways to Get His Attention Online or Out
How women over 40 who date can learn how to find the right man online or out and about.

 

3. Show off, sister.


This may be difficult for you; it is for many women. We aren't used to talking about ourselves because we've been told it’s selfish and braggadocious (love that word!). Real ladies are humble and let the man shine, right? No. That's nonsense.

You've got to get over this if you want to help men get to know you. They want you to talk about yourself (at least the good guys do). He's only going to know how fabulous you are—and if you're a good match—if you get some of your shiny stuff out. Don't be afraid to share your passions, interests, accomplishments, interesting life experiences, and plans for the future.

You will get attention and get dates by showing the confidence to tell him who you are. You will be memorable and may be just a bit enticing. A warning though: as my husband says, men listen in headlines while women talk in stories! Don't tell him long stories. Keep it brief, and if he's a match for you, he will want more.

Whether online or off, it's important that you show real and revealing glimpses of who you are and what you care about. The right guy will be drawn to you, and the wrong guy won't. Isn't that perfect?

4. Show clear interest.


A simple "Nice talking to you" isn't enough. Everyone says that, and it's likely to be filed under the "She's just being polite" category. Instead, add something to that. "It was nice talking to you, Bob. It would be nice to do it again." That makes it clear that you're open, and it shows that ever-attractive confidence (you can apply this every step of the way: "It was great to get your email, Bob. I look forward to continuing our conversation…and so on).

There's a big difference between this and asking him out. After you deliver this line, stop! You have helped him feel safe and appreciated. He knows you will say yes if he asks (men really do appreciate this...just think of how many times they've heard "no" in their lives!). If he's interested, he will make a move.

One last note: Remember that if he doesn't go for your attempt, he probably knows something you don't know about why you're not a good match (he wants someone taller, is obsessed with something you don't like, sees his last horrible girlfriend in you, etc.).

Don't let it discourage you. You'll get points in your dating karma bank by making him feel good about himself, and it will be easier to do it the next time with the guy who may be your perfect match.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking flirting is tacky or that you can't be good at it. Flirting is definitely for mature daters; we just do it a little differently. Even if it doesn't come naturally, there is hope! Use these techniques and enjoy the positive responses you get and the power it gives you (yes..I said power!). I'm confident you'll go from thinking of flirting as a necessary evil to looking forward to the next opportunity to strike up a connection and share yourself with a nice man!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

4 Ways To Learn About His Past Relationships Without Being Sneaky

By

The general belief is that you learn a lot about someone by knowing their relationship history. Find out the details about his marriages and romances that didn't work out and you'll get a good idea of whether or not he's relationship worthy, right? When we're dating after 40, the men we're meeting have decades of this history. They can ... Read more

The Happy Truth About Men & Commitment (and Clooney’s Wedding)

By

When I say these two words — MEN and COMMITMENT — what comes to mind? Men are commitment phoebes? Men are afraid of marriage? Men just want the milk without buying the cow? Anything like this pop into your brain? A lot of women — especially women who are dating over 40 — believe that men are far more interested in getting ... Read more

A Single Man's Thoughts About Your Body (Part 1)

By

This post is from a 50-something anonymous Man-Fan.  He took his time to share his experience and point of view on what grownup men find attractive in women. I absolutely love what he’s sharing with you. Soak it up! And thank you Mr. Anonymous! As a woman, how do you determine if men find you attractive? Do you compare yourself against what you ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular