Clearing Limiting Beliefs: Making Friends with Rejection

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Clearing Limiting Beliefs: Making Friends with Rejection

Rejection sucks. There’s no other way to say it. When he doesn’t show interest, doesn’t show up, or breaks it off after a relationship develops; it’s ugly and icky. No doubt about it.

Thing is: rejection doesn’t have to strike a mortal blow.

I know so many women who avoid connecting with men – by choice or unconsciously – because they don’t want to experience rejection. If you don’t accept – even welcome – rejection, your dream of meeting a life partner will most surely never materialize. It will keep you from getting out there and giving it your best.

As I always say: It’s your fear of rejection that’s getting you rejected.

Here are three things I want you to consider before holding back or giving up because of your fear of rejection.

It could actually be a good thing.

I know this is a tough one to believe, especially at the time you’re experiencing it. But sometimes – actually, often – the man who rejects us is doing us a huge favor.

Up until a certain time in our lives many of us tend to go for men who are not good for us. It took me until my mid-40’s to grow myself out of being a Bad Picker. (Are you still in that time of your life?) We’re attracted by all sorts of whacky things and just don’t make the best choices.

Men are smarter than a lot of us think, girlfriend. So if a man senses that he isn’t for you, he will often dump you like a hot potato. Why? Because he knows he won’t be able to make you happy.

Is he doing it as a favor to you? Nope, probably not. He’s doing it to avoid having to deal with your complaints and attempts to change him. Regardless, this may feel lousy when it happens but, in the long run, it’s a good thing.

Here’s an exercise: Look back at the last few men who you felt rejected by. In retrospect, how great were they really? If he had stuck around, how would that have enhanced your life? When you do this, you can’t count the men you merely fantasized about and really never knew. What you imagined he’d be like doesn’t count. I’m talking real guys here who you dated some and got a chance to know. Is your life really so much worse because he’s not in it?

For more on this, check out this past post Why You Should Be Happy When a Man Rejects You.

You may be making it up.

How often have you decided that a man is not interested; only to get his call the next day? We gals have an uncanny way of over thinking to the point of simply creating our own reality.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
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