So-So First Date? Why He Deserves A Second Chance

By

So-So First Date? Why He Deserves A Second Chance [EXPERT]
Are you expecting him to wow you right away?

Anthony probably felt rejected each time this happened and, over the course of time, got angry. He was making an effort to meet women but getting judged by some unreasonable measurement. They were judging him on how good a date he was, not how good a potential partner he might make.

Anthony was right, by the way. Many Wow-Me Women stay single for a long time. (If you’ve read my eBook, you know I was a member of that club.) They have probably had a lot of short-term, intense relationships  but no meaningful long-term ones.

Here is how dating can go for the Wow-Me Woman. She dates and never meets men she likes. Then, once in avery long while, she meets someone and feels that big spark. They have an incredible first date and she thinks he is the right guy. But then there are three scenarios:

1. They have a great first date and he never calls her again. In this case she apparently read it wrong. On one of my Man Panels, when asked about this phenomenon, a man once answered, "Well it couldn't have been that great of a date!"

2. He likes her too and, as a grown-up guy looking for a life partner, he wants to learn more about her. He calls a few days later and asks her out again. But her intensity bowls him over; he can tell she's already decided about him and latched on. That's unimpressive and he heads for the hills.

3. They have a great first date and he instantly starts texting and emailing, and they both jump in. They talk or see each other every day. She's more and more convinced that her initial feeling was right on and he's amazing! Then, relatively soon thereafter, he either disappears or explains that he's just not ready for a relationship.

So let me break down this last scenario. The guy who jumps in so fast is a Wow-Me Man. He eventually realizes that she's not the woman he wants to marry. Either that, or he doesn't want to marry at all and just likes the feeling of being adored. At the same speed he created the situation, he extricates himself. He knows he made a mistake.

The Wow-Me Woman, however, ignores any signs that he's not a good match because she can't bear to give up the fantasy. Once she's wowed, no amount of contrary evidence can convince her they weren't meant to be. She's waited a long time for this, and she's not about to give it up.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

4 Ways To Learn About His Past Relationships Without Being Sneaky

By

The general belief is that you learn a lot about someone by knowing their relationship history. Find out the details about his marriages and romances that didn't work out and you'll get a good idea of whether or not he's relationship worthy, right? When we're dating after 40, the men we're meeting have decades of this history. They can ... Read more

The Happy Truth About Men & Commitment (and Clooney’s Wedding)

By

When I say these two words — MEN and COMMITMENT — what comes to mind? Men are commitment phoebes? Men are afraid of marriage? Men just want the milk without buying the cow? Anything like this pop into your brain? A lot of women — especially women who are dating over 40 — believe that men are far more interested in getting ... Read more

A Single Man's Thoughts About Your Body (Part 1)

By

This post is from a 50-something anonymous Man-Fan.  He took his time to share his experience and point of view on what grownup men find attractive in women. I absolutely love what he’s sharing with you. Soak it up! And thank you Mr. Anonymous! As a woman, how do you determine if men find you attractive? Do you compare yourself against what you ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular