Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment.
If you're going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ability to step outside yourself and get into someone else's head and heart (even just a little), your connections instantly improve.
Today I’ll help you warm up your empathy muscle by sharing another story in my series What Dating Is Like for Men*.
Single men carry around old baggage and wounds just like we do. They’ve accumulated their fair share of dating and relationship bumps and bruises; in fact, they've probably had more. Think about it: they've been the ones responsible for putting themselves out there first since they were teenagers. Ouch. Talk about rejection.
Along with all the fun and great sex, men too have gotten dumped, misled, used and had their hearts broken by some challenging types of women.
Today we turn to another one of these women: The FemiType The 18 Year Old.
The 18 Year Old dater doesn’t look 18 anymore, nor does she act like it. She is glorious! She;s smart, has created a wonderful life for herself, and has developed great relationships—except when it comes to romantic relationships with men.
While she runs every other part of her life with confidence and finesse, she runs her love life as if she's still a teenager. She may be 50 or 60, but she still digs the guys who are fun, “get her," and give her butterflies. The 18 Year Old wouldn’t recognize a grownup nice guy (e.g., a man who would make a good husband) if she stepped on him! Or, in Fred’s case, if she dated him.
“I met this woman online, and she seemed amazing. The first time we met, I drove two hours to meet her for coffee. I did the same for the next date. We had a great dinner, and at the end of the date she told how much she enjoyed it and looked forward to seeing me again. I was pretty excited because I liked her. I thought there was potential.
"Then she stopped returning my calls. After about the third call – which was going to be my last – she answered and told me that she couldn't see me anymore because her friends (who I never met) "didn't think I was a good match for her.
"It's a good thing I learned this nonsense about her right up front and not after we were in a relationship. I thought that crap ended in high school!"
Fred liked this woman and was interested in getting to know her. He drove two freaking hours each way to spend time with her! Not only did she give him mixed signals and was childish by not answering the phone and talking to him, but she actually let her friends influence her decision about whether to see him again. Really???
This woman does not know or trust herself. That's why she overly relies on what her friends think. Sounds just an 18 year old, right?