I discovered my “wonderfulness” and learned how to show it to men. (Step 1: Who Am I? Falling in Love with Myself). This gave me confidence I had never had before, and there is nothing more attractive than confidence. (That comes before compassion on guys’ lists.)
Then I got clear on what I wanted in a man and in a relationship. (Step 2: Who Is He? Getting Past Your List.) I helped my 18 Year Old grow up and defined the traits in a man that were really important for grownup happiness. I got rid of the items on my “list” that really didn’t matter. You know: tall, dark, gorgeous, rich, drives a good car, no baggage, loves to travel, etc. Btw, this is where it really helps to be over 40 – we now have rich life experience that can help guide us.
More from YourTango: Flirting for Grownups: 4 Ways to Get His Attention Online or Out
Step 3 was the hardest for me. This entailed challenging and getting rid of the gremlins, assumptions and beliefs that held me back: things like “I’m too fat,” “Men don’t like smart women,” and “I’m just going to get hurt, so what’s the point?” I put my gremlins in their place, locked in a tiny closet at the back of my brain. They came out to play now and then, but I wouldn’t let them sabotage me anymore. I wanted this too much.
Here’s what I call Step 3: I’m Fabulous, So What’s the Damn Problem? (Are you feelin’ it yet?)
Taming Your FemiTypes
Once you know what is wonderful about you and what you really want in a man, and once you have challenged and cut your gremlins down to size…THEN you are ready to find your guy. Step 4 awaits.
When you cast your net with all this in your tool chest, this is the easy and fun part! When you’re clear, ready and open, finding love is soooo much easier. Within 18 months of doing my inner work, I became a first-time bride at age 47! And as I write this, we are one month from our six-year anniversary.
So, wonderful woman, sorry but there are no shortcuts. The path is simple, though, and it’s not so long once you know what to do and how to do it. (Kind of like many things in life that seem hard, yet you end up mastering them without much fuss.)
I wish I had some quick tidbit of advice for you to use that will miraculously make Him appear. But today I’m all about looking deeper and going further with you. And the only advice is for you to learn to BE the woman who attracts that loving man.
If you’ve made it this far reading this, I have full confidence that you’re up for this journey.
I’ve heard from many of you that the FemiType series has been eye-opening and helpful. That’s why I’m here: to open your eyes to the beauty of being a grownup in the area of love. (As I know you are in the rest of your life.)
I’m here to guide you on your path to Finding Hope and then Finding Him. You deserve to wake up every morning for the rest of your life with a man who adores you.
More from YourTango: How Sitting in Your Sh*t Will Help You Let Love In
I did it. My clients are doing it…and you can too. I am SO looking forward to hearing you tell me about this wonderful experience in your life!