Over the past few months I’ve profiled six types of women – I call them FemiTypes – who have less than healthy relationships with men. I’ve written about The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat, The Wow-Me Woman, The Bitter Woman and The Sexpot.
Why have I written about women when you really want to know about men? Because I know it will help lead you get to where you want to be: in a loving relationship with a man who is devoted to you.
More from YourTango: 40+ And In A Dating Rut? 3 Simple Steps To Get You Moving Forward
I wrote the FemiType series in hopes of creating empathy for your counterpart: the over 40 single guy who is dating and looking for love. Many of these guys come to you after dating, living with or being married to one or more of these FemiTypes.
After reading this series, I hope you can understand why some single men can seem judgmental, insecure, scared or a little shell-shocked! Like you, they’re likely reacting based on previous experiences.
Understanding men’s bumps and bruises will add to your compassion, and compassion is toward the top of the list of feminine traits that men desire most in a partner. It ranks before sex appeal, intelligence, or being blonde and skinny. Relationship-minded men are drawn to a compassionate woman.
My FemiType series also gives you a window through which you can identify patterns of your own behavior that unknowingly turn away good guys. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my clients is that, after only one or two dates that seem great, the guy just disappears. That can be for a whole host of reasons having nothing to do with you.
But often – and I know because guys tell me – it’s because of behavior that turns off men, emasculates them, hurts them, or just downright confuses them. Sometimes we can just be too much work for them!
Knowledge is power, and I’m all about empowering you. Self-awareness is the most powerful tool of all. It’s what started me on my journey to finding the most amazing love, and it will also put you in control of getting what you want.
As a result of my journey and my success, I created my 6-Step Find Hope and Find Him System. Many women want to go straight to Step 4 of my system: Casting the Net: Where and How Do I Meet Him. They figure the only problem is that there aren’t enough men. They resist looking at themselves or taking personal responsibility.
I get it. That’s how I dated for about 30 years! I just kept trolling, casting my net and waiting and hoping for the right guy to come along. (You know…the guy who was going to love me just the way I was without me having to make any changes?)
Looking back, I’m sure I met plenty of good guys during my dating years. I can see now how my inner Scaredy Cat and 18 Year Old kept me from attracting them (or even recognizing them).
I kept scaring away the good men, and the only ones I attracted were the jerks. You know who appears then…The Bitter Woman! H-e-l-l-o!
My Formula for Overcoming My FemiTypes
More from YourTango: How to Ask or Answer: Where Is This Going?
In my 40s I finally realized the only common denominator to my unsatisfactory (i.e., lack of) relationships was ME. With guidance (Yes, I use coaches!) I realized it was I who had control over my romantic outcomes. And boy, was I controlling them!
So…I got to work.