50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Are You Ready to Teach and Tame Her? (FemiTypes - The Epilogue)

By

Are You Ready to Teach and Tame Her? (FemiTypes - The Epilogue)
How to overcome your FemiType if you're a woman dating over 40

Over the past few months I’ve profiled six types of women – I call them FemiTypes – who have less than healthy relationships with men. I’ve written about The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat, The Wow-Me Woman, The Bitter Woman and The Sexpot.

Why have I written about women when you really want to know about men? Because I know it will help lead you get to where you want to be: in a loving relationship with a man who is devoted to you.

More from YourTango: It's An Art: Exactly What To Say To Men In Difficult Situations

I wrote the FemiType series in hopes of creating empathy for your counterpart: the over 40 single guy who is dating and looking for love. Many of these guys come to you after dating, living with or being married to one or more of these FemiTypes.

After reading this series, I hope you can understand why some single men can seem judgmental, insecure, scared or a little shell-shocked! Like you, they’re likely reacting based on previous experiences.

Understanding men’s bumps and bruises will add to your compassion, and compassion is toward the top of the list of feminine traits that men desire most in a partner. It ranks before sex appeal, intelligence, or being blonde and skinny. Relationship-minded men are drawn to a compassionate woman.

My FemiType series also gives you a window through which you can identify patterns of your own behavior that unknowingly turn away good guys. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my clients is that, after only one or two dates that seem great, the guy just disappears. That can be for a whole host of reasons having nothing to do with you.

But often – and I know because guys tell me – it’s because of behavior that turns off men, emasculates them, hurts them, or just downright confuses them. Sometimes we can just be too much work for them!

Knowledge is power, and I’m all about empowering you. Self-awareness is the most powerful tool of all. It’s what started me on my journey to finding the most amazing love, and it will also put you in control of getting what you want.

As a result of my journey and my success, I created my 6-Step Find Hope and Find Him System. Many women want to go straight to Step 4 of my system: Casting the Net: Where and How Do I Meet Him. They figure the only problem is that there aren’t enough men. They resist looking at themselves or taking personal responsibility.

I get it. That’s how I dated for about 30 years! I just kept trolling, casting my net and waiting and hoping for the right guy to come along. (You know…the guy who was going to love me just the way I was without me having to make any changes?)

Looking back, I’m sure I met plenty of good guys during my dating years. I can see now how my inner Scaredy Cat and 18 Year Old kept me from attracting them (or even recognizing them).

I kept scaring away the good men, and the only ones I attracted were the jerks. You know who appears then…The Bitter Woman! H-e-l-l-o!

My Formula for Overcoming My FemiTypes

More from YourTango: Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

In my 40s I finally realized the only common denominator to my unsatisfactory (i.e., lack of) relationships was ME. With guidance (Yes, I use coaches!) I realized it was I who had control over my romantic outcomes. And boy, was I controlling them!

So…I got to work.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Author

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

It's An Art: Exactly What To Say To Men In Difficult Situations

By

In dating, good communication is the key to meeting and attracting men … especially the right men. It's also the key to developing and maintaining fulfilling relationships. When you love on purpose, you communicate on purpose. One of the most important ways I support my coaching clients is by helping them communicate well with men. Online or ... Read more

Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

By

It's Monday and you're talking on the phone with a nice guy you're interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this: Nice Guy: Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday night? You: Yes, that would be nice. Nice Guy: Okay, I'll call you later in the week to firm up the plans. I'm ... Read more

Dating Rules That Change With Age

By

“If it were a snake, it would ‘a bit ya!” That’s what Ethel Mertz always said to her husband Fred (Lucy Ricardo’s neighbors in I Love Lucy) when he’d wander around looking for his glasses – which were always on top of his head.  Well, this is what I could have said to my client Carol who hired me to help her ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
couple argue

Emotional Vampires: Must-Know Skills For Dealing With Narcissists

Expert Margaret Jacobson shares insights gained from Albert Bernstein's, book "Emotional Vampires".

Love: 10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

10 Challenges That Will Get You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Don't be afraid to push the envelope — you'll achieve greater happiness!

Hug Text

The "Secret" To Love And Connection: Awareness

This one is for those of you still trying to work out the secret to finding that perfect connection.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS