6 Types Of Daters: The 'Sex Pot'

By

6 Types Of Daters: The 'Sex Pot'
Why women dating over 40 who rely on their sexuality to attract a mate short change themselves.

The Sex Pot is different than this gal. She wants a relationship and believes sex is the way to a man’s heart. She measures her self-worth by how men respond to her sexually. Her underlying belief is probably that she doesn’t have much else to offer to get attention from men. And she just doesn’t know any other way.

As her wrinkles deepen, her thighs sag and her waistline thickens, she becomes more sexually assertive. She needs confirmation that she still “has it.” It can be sad and seen by men as being desperate…and a little immature.

Tony’s Story

“We met online and her pictures were pretty hot. She was flirty in her emails, and I thought that was cute and exciting. When I picked her up for our first date, she put her hand on my leg as I drove to the restaurant. We had a pretty good time. When I went to drop her off, she invited me in and after a short time offered me a back rub. I was a little put off, but hey, I’m a guy so I said yes. The back rub soon became more, with her as the aggressor.

"When I put on the brakes she was offended that I didn’t ‘go for it.’ As much as I’m a healthy red-blooded 64-year old guy, I just kept thinking that she didn’t really know me and wondered if she did this with every guy she meets. That was a big turn off. I suppose I could have had sex with her and then never called her again. But that’s just not me anymore.”

Tony was a good guy who, to his surprise, was put off by this woman’s come-on. He sensed her desperation and knew instinctively she was not relationship material. Overall it was more a turn off than a turn on. It seems like this experience left him feeling emasculated and kind of used. His 18 Year Old was probably screaming “Go for it!” but his grownup self wanted nothing to do with it. Yes, men can feel like sex objects too.

The Sexpot’s Reality and Reeducation

The Sex Pot attracts the Cads, the Sharks and the Pingers. They take her bait, use her and follow up only when they want more sex or maybe just a stroke of their egos.

These users spot this FemiType a mile away. She makes excuses for them when they disappoint her. Because she is ever hopeful it may turn into a real relationship, she willingly accepts the next booty call.

When she stops to think about it, she feels used and empty. But she doesn’t often stop long since she is almost always on the hook with some guy she thinks has potential. She needs that to shore up her confidence. And when he dumps her, she feels used and blames him for being a liar and user.

Ultimately The Sexpot doesn’t change because she doesn’t know any other way to attract or maintain a relationship with a man. She equates sex with love, which is probably something she learned as a teenager and still believes as truth. She is clueless to the fact that men of any age do not equate sex and love and that sexual attraction is just that. Period.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Why Midlife Sex Is The Best Sex

By

Can I make a few assumptions? If you’re reading this you are most likely a woman over 40, single and looking. You are probably dating, or hoping to. You are either nearing menopause, in menopause or post-menopausal. Taken together, here’s what that tells me: You are facing the prospect of having new sexual partners. After all, you have hopes of ... Read more

Let's Get Physical, Or Should We? 5 Tips For Midlife Dating

By

Wanna hear your body talk? If the idea of having sex in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond is intimidating, you are not alone. I get a lot of questions about the whats and hows of having sex “in this day and age” and at this stage of life. You crave intimacy, but the last thing you want is to sleep with a guy and get hung up like an 18-year-old. ... Read more

3 “Ah-Ha!” Differences Between Dating Men And Boys

By

If you are a single woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond, I have a question for you: When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truth? And what about when it comes to ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB