ProConnect

5 Must-Dos For Every First Date

By

5 Must-Dos For Every First Date
Learn Bobbi Palmer's FLIRT System: 5 Must-Do's on Every First Date.

I= be In the moment. Be “present” on your date. Don’t compare him to men in the past, nor should you project into the future. That means not having that internal conversation about whether he could be The One, analyzing everything he says, or trying to figure out what he’s not saying. I encourage my coaching clients to stay in the DISCOVER mode on the first few dates. Find out about him and just experience what it feels like to be with him. There will be plenty of time for the DECIDE phase later on.

R= be Real. Being genuine is the only way to attract the right man. You have nothing to prove, you don’t have to appear to be perfect, and you don’t have to twist like a pretzel to be what you think he wants you to be. Put down your protective walls and your “I’m just fine without a man” attitude…and be You. The right guy will appreciate you, and the wrong one won't. Perfect!

More from YourTango: 3 Mistakes To Stop Making If You Want A Grown-Up Love Story

T= Talk about yourself. Why would a man want a second date with you if he goes home knowing nothing about you? Sometimes a man will spend most of the time talking about himself. This can be out of nervousness, because he’s trying too hard to impress you or because you interrogated him and he’s simply answering all your questions. It’s important that you squeeze in what I call your “nuggets.” These are important bits of information about you, such as what you're proud of, what you care about, or what you most like to spend your time doing. These are all things that help a man get to know you.

More from YourTango: 40+ And In A Dating Rut? 3 Simple Steps To Get You Moving Forward

While you may never know the exact reason a man doesn't call, following my FLIRT guidelines means you won't have to doubt yourself after dates. If he doesn’t call, you’ll know that you did nothing wrong; you just weren't a good match. Get over it and move on to the next man. Don’t let self-doubt and “what ifs” keep you from moving forward to finding true love.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Author

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

By

It's Monday and you're talking on the phone with a nice guy you're interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this: Nice Guy: Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday night? You: Yes, that would be nice. Nice Guy: Okay, I'll call you later in the week to firm up the plans. I'm ... Read more

Dating Rules That Change With Age

By

“If it were a snake, it would ‘a bit ya!” That’s what Ethel Mertz always said to her husband Fred (Lucy Ricardo’s neighbors in I Love Lucy) when he’d wander around looking for his glasses – which were always on top of his head.  Well, this is what I could have said to my client Carol who hired me to help her ... Read more

3 Mistakes To Stop Making If You Want A Grown-Up Love Story

By

Let's face it: You are an awesome, capable, exceptional woman, we ALL are, but we're getting kinda old and we've been doing, thinking and believing the wrong things about ourselves and about men for a very long time. You can do what I finally did: Let go of all the old thoughts, habits, and behaviors that have been getting in the way of what you ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Relationship Advice For Women: 5 Things That Turn Men Off

How To Lose A Guy In Ten Minutes: 5 Major Turn-Offs

If you want to impress a new guy, avoid these major turn-offs.

Sex Education: How Sex Ed Will Lower Birth Rates

Sex Education In South Carolina: How It Changed Their City

It's important that you're honest with your children.

Brain

Are We Wrong about Who We Are?

When Barbara Garcia's home was flattened by this month's tornado in Moore, Oklahoma, ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS