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5 Must-Dos For Every First Date

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5 Must-Dos For Every First Date
Learn Bobbi Palmer's FLIRT System: 5 Must-Do's on Every First Date.

I= be In the moment. Be “present” on your date. Don’t compare him to men in the past, nor should you project into the future. That means not having that internal conversation about whether he could be The One, analyzing everything he says, or trying to figure out what he’s not saying. I encourage my coaching clients to stay in the DISCOVER mode on the first few dates. Find out about him and just experience what it feels like to be with him. There will be plenty of time for the DECIDE phase later on.

R= be Real. Being genuine is the only way to attract the right man. You have nothing to prove, you don’t have to appear to be perfect, and you don’t have to twist like a pretzel to be what you think he wants you to be. Put down your protective walls and your “I’m just fine without a man” attitude…and be You. The right guy will appreciate you, and the wrong one won't. Perfect!

More from YourTango: The One Word You Can Use To Magnetize The Right Man

T= Talk about yourself. Why would a man want a second date with you if he goes home knowing nothing about you? Sometimes a man will spend most of the time talking about himself. This can be out of nervousness, because he’s trying too hard to impress you or because you interrogated him and he’s simply answering all your questions. It’s important that you squeeze in what I call your “nuggets.” These are important bits of information about you, such as what you're proud of, what you care about, or what you most like to spend your time doing. These are all things that help a man get to know you.

More from YourTango: 5 Reasons To Look Forward To Your 50s ... In Bed

While you may never know the exact reason a man doesn't call, following my FLIRT guidelines means you won't have to doubt yourself after dates. If he doesn’t call, you’ll know that you did nothing wrong; you just weren't a good match. Get over it and move on to the next man. Don’t let self-doubt and “what ifs” keep you from moving forward to finding true love.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Author

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

The One Word You Can Use To Magnetize The Right Man

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I can say from personal experience that your 50s are the best time to experience love. While you might have been hooking up all over the place in your 20s, your choices were probably pretty crappy because you — like me in my 20s — had no idea what would create any kind of real happiness in your life. Your 30s are all about turning into a ... Read more

What Is Your Online Dating IQ?

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I know I sound like a broken record about the benefits of dating online, especially if you are single and over 40. I’m going to continue to nag you about this because I want what you want: for you to find the man of your dreams, and to never let each other go. Getting online is the best way to make that happen. Go ahead, take the test, I promise ... Read more

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