You know the story: You go out on a first date, have a great time, feel good chemistry, and discover you have so much in common. He tells you he likes you and wants to see you again. You get a little tingly…even breathless. You start fantasizing about your next date, or two, or three. You have a feeling you haven’t had in ages: hope! Maybe it will happen for you, and maybe this is your last first date!
Then the phone doesn’t ring. You wait. You start wondering and analyzing. You ask yourself, “What did I do wrong? Was I dreaming that we had great chemistry and that he liked me? Should I not have talked about my ex? Should I have let him kiss me?” You start going down the rabbit hole of whys and what ifs.
As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, the number one question I get (and I get it EVERY day) is “Why Didn’t He Call?” And that’s always followed by “Should I call him?”
So, right here, right now, I am going to finally unravel the age-old mystery of “Why didn’t he call?” Here it is: I don’t know. Neither do you, and there's a good chance we’ll never know. Therefore, my expert advice is to move on.
Maybe his dog died, or he started dating someone else, or he just changed his mind about wanting to see you again. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is he knows something you don’t know: he’s not right for you. You are not His One, for whatever reason.
So how do you stay out of the rabbit hole and deal with the woulda-coulda-shouldas? My FLIRT System is the answer. Use it on every date and, not only will it improve the quality of your dates and connections, but you’ll never have to ask yourself those unanswerable questions again.
Here is my FLIRT System–your five must-do’s on every first date:
F= Find out what is right about him. Start every date by finding at least three things you like about him. Did he show up on time? Was he nice to the waitress? Do you like his shoes? Focus first on his positive attributes, even (or especially) if you don’t feel instant attraction. You never know what you’ll realize if you pay attention to the positives rather than starting with what rules him out.
L= Let him know what you like. Men like to be complimented as much as women do, yet we rarely give them that gift. Tell him you like his sense of humor. Tell him you admire his great relationship his daughter. Or maybe that you respect how he’s found a career that he loves so much. Let him know what you like. If you’re interested, this is critical to getting your next date. If not, you’re being kind. There's nothing wrong with that!
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