You can meet the spectacular, special man who is going to be your life partner using online dating. I met the love of my life on www.match.com, so of course I recommend it to all my friends, coaching clients, in my workshops…really to anyone who will listen!
Here are three things I recommend you keep in mind as you travel on your journey meeting men using online dating. (Yep…it is a journey and, yes, you meet men online…you really don’t date them there.)
#1. Be the Boss
No, I don’t mean be bossy. I mean be in control of your experience. Online dating opens you up to thousands more possibilities, and it’s a completely new way of meeting people.
Make some decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your life. How many hours will you spend each day? (Warning: this can get addictive!) What things can you do to ensure your physical and emotional well-being as you talk to and meet people? What can you learn or change to be a successful dater?
Intuition and special situations will create forks in the road. And as time goes on, you’ll likely tweak some of these decisions. Considering some things up front, however, gives you a tentative roadmap and, more importantly, an expanded awareness. It gives you something to refer back to when you get a little off track.
I want you to have fun, be open to new things, and enjoy the experience; just do it consciously and like the grownup woman who you are.
Remember those jerks you met in bars 30 years ago? Well, a few are still out there; they just have gray hair now. (That’s my husband, Larry’s, line.) You need to be able to deal with all men in a classy, direct manner, and the best way to do that is to have a good sense of what you want and who you want to “be” out in the dating world.
#2. Have fun while you practice.
Every meeting and date is practice that brings you closer to Mr. I Love You. Statistically, your meet-date won’t turn out to be him. So what?
Enjoy the time and be open to what comes up. Don’t come in with an agenda, and don’t let it ruin your time if, in the first 10 minutes, he doesn’t appear to be your man. Just relax and let yourself enjoy. You never know; you may just let yourself relax into a very nice feeling.
You can also use this as a time to help boost the man’s self-esteem. (Yes, men are as nervous and insecure as we are.) He was nice enough to “pick you” and make the effort of meeting you. (Remember, as we get older the men have way more choices than we do.)
Unless he’s a real creep (which very, very few men are), help him feel good about himself by giving him some compliments and thanking him graciously. Try to learn about him and find what’s unique and interesting. You can learn and gain something from just about anyone.
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