A Crack in the Foundation: The Effects of Infidelity on a Relati

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A Crack in the Foundation:  The Effects of Infidelity on a Relati
What would you do if your partner had an affair?

As for Type II Cheaters, this is quite a different type of problem. Here, the reparation is in the hands of the Cheater. The infidelity is not due to something that went wrong in the relationship. This type of infidelity is about addiction and needs to be treated as such. Without treatment, there is no reason for a partner to believe it won’t happen again. And probably again and again.

Can relationships avoid the threat of infidelity?

Couples don’t often talk about their expectations regarding fidelity. Most of us have assumptions about the way we are expected to behave in a relationship, so we rarely think to have that conversation with our partners. And this is one of those conversations that is best had at the beginning of a relationship.

But it is never too late.

Imagine for a moment, planting a vegetable garden. You choose the plants with care. You prepare the soil in a spot with the perfect amount of sun exposure. Then, you tenderly embed each plant with just enough space for full growth potential. You feed it, you water it, then stand back to enjoy your work.

Then you walk away. You don’t return the next day, or any day after that to tend it. To water it. To feed it. To pluck out the weeds. To keep the bugs and critters away. What will that garden look like in a month? In a year? In ten years?

Like the garden, the best way to defend against infidelity in your relationship is to care for it every day. Discuss your expectations. Do daily check-ins with your partner. Create the safe space in your relationship where you both can express your concerns and your needs. Where you are both able to talk, listen, and be heard with open heart and mind.

Build that strong foundation and tend to it every day.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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