Putting The Ho-Ho-Ho Back In The Holidays After Divorce


Putting The Ho-Ho-Ho Back In The Holidays After Divorce
Get through this holiday season.
5 ways to move your post-separation holiday season from blue to new!

Then take these attributes and get creative. How can I create magic and mystery for the children even if they're not with me on Christmas morning? I wonder what recipes my family has that have been passed down that I'm not even aware of — or what's stopping me from making my former grandmother-in-law's shortbread myself? Use the attributes of your old traditions to form the basis for some new ones.

3. Add in the you. If you're like many people, parents in particular, you will have the tendency to focus heavily on others during the holiday season. Creating a wonder-filled experience for the children. Contributing to the whirl of family get-togethers. Decorating the house just like it's always been.

More from YourTango: 3 Pattern-Busting Tips For More Passionate Love

What has likely got a little lost in all that? You. Now is a great opportunity to sit back and give some thought to what you really want for yourself over this holiday season. As you recreate your new family's new traditions, what do you want — and what don't you want?

And if you are a parent and are going to have time totally to yourself over the holiday, what can you do to celebrate, pamper, care for and coddle you over the holidays. Thinking, planning and taking action that brings pleasure to you may be the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season.

4. Recruit your crew. You are not in this alone! Your children, your friends, your  extended family — all these people are also affected by the changes happening in your family. And what they are looking for from you is guidance.

While you sit in your corner wondering about them, they sit in their corner wondering about you! So talk to people. Talk to your children, engage them in a form of the "distill what's true" exercise, invite them to contribute to the creation of the new. I remember my kids totally surprising me with what was and was not important to them — who knew they didn't really like turkey they just loved stuffing and they assumed the two were inseparable? Roast beef and stuffing is now our traditional Christmas dinner.

More from YourTango: Does Financial Drama Lead To Divorce?

Continue reading ...

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bob Tomes & Jane Warren

Relationship Coach

Jane Warren & Bob Tomes are established relationship coaches and educators assisting people who are looking to create a vibrant life and relationship.

Stay connected with Jane & Bob through their FREE bi-weekly Relationship Newsletter at Vibrant Couples and if you're impacted by divorce connect with them at SpringBoard Divorce.


Location: Calgary, AB, Canada
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Stepfamilies
Other Articles/News by Bob Tomes & Jane Warren:

Are These Myths Getting In Your Way Of A Happy Relationship?


How often have you heard it? Relationships are hard work. If you're not prepared to do the hard work you can't have a good relationship. If you want to be in relationship you'll have to learn to compromise. These are all very prevalent beliefs that have become "truths" to so many couples. Well, we don't agree! In fact, we think the ... Read more

7 Sizzling Valentine's Day Ideas To Wow Your Main Squeeze


Valentine's Day has become so laden with traditions, expectations, and marketing mania that it's easy to slip into thought patterns like: "I have to …", "To heck with it, I'm NOT going to …", "He'd better do …" and/or "What on earth am I going to do?" All of which create angst and ... Read more

3 Pattern-Busting Tips For More Passionate Love


Ah, routine. Repeating those day-to-day patterns can bring us comfort when life gets a little crazy — but it create a dullness or sense of boredom when they're what define our lives and relationship interactions. Just as we settle into work and career routines, we tend to get into patterns with our partners and start "going through the ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Flirty Talk

7 Reasons Why You Have a Fear of Love

Dr. Martha Tara Lee shares 7 reasons you have fear about love and 3 truths you can take on board.

Summer Couple

Ditch Your Need for Certainty: Cultivate These Nine Traits

Sometimes we find ourselves on the precipice of a decision and become paralyzed. We hesitate ...


The Least & Most Open-Minded Cities In Online Dating

Wondering if your city is open-minded when it comes to online dating? Check out this data from Zoosk

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>