Putting The Ho-Ho-Ho Back In The Holidays After Divorce
By Bob Tomes & Jane Warren. Posted on .
Then take these attributes and get creative. How can I create magic and mystery for the children even if they're not with me on Christmas morning? I wonder what recipes my family has that have been passed down that I'm not even aware of — or what's stopping me from making my former grandmother-in-law's shortbread myself? Use the attributes of your old traditions to form the basis for some new ones.
3. Add in the you. If you're like many people, parents in particular, you will have the tendency to focus heavily on others during the holiday season. Creating a wonder-filled experience for the children. Contributing to the whirl of family get-togethers. Decorating the house just like it's always been.
More from YourTango: 5 Reasons Men Cheat & 4 Solutions To The Problem
What has likely got a little lost in all that? You. Now is a great opportunity to sit back and give some thought to what you really want for yourself over this holiday season. As you recreate your new family's new traditions, what do you want — and what don't you want?
And if you are a parent and are going to have time totally to yourself over the holiday, what can you do to celebrate, pamper, care for and coddle you over the holidays. Thinking, planning and taking action that brings pleasure to you may be the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season.
4. Recruit your crew. You are not in this alone! Your children, your friends, your extended family — all these people are also affected by the changes happening in your family. And what they are looking for from you is guidance.
While you sit in your corner wondering about them, they sit in their corner wondering about you! So talk to people. Talk to your children, engage them in a form of the "distill what's true" exercise, invite them to contribute to the creation of the new. I remember my kids totally surprising me with what was and was not important to them — who knew they didn't really like turkey they just loved stuffing and they assumed the two were inseparable? Roast beef and stuffing is now our traditional Christmas dinner.
More from YourTango: 6 Marriage Mistakes Women Make That Lead To Divorce
