This may sound strange but I've learned a lot about love and dating from The Following this season.
I know normally people wouldn't associate love with serial murder. But since I've started this project of going on 50 first dates with one guy from each state, I've been more open to getting answers, tips and advice from unlikely sources.In this case, a sociopath.
This season we see Joe Carroll, the infamous cult leader and serial murderer as the pinnacle of a love triangle with Emma his protégé slash former jump-off and Lily his self-proclaimed savior. I'm fascinated by Lily, I find myself wondering how a character so intelligent (home girl speaks a gazillion languages) and calculating can be so clueless when it comes to possessing a serial killer. Okay yes Joe is no ordinary man but he's not a demi-god and Lily's golden curls almost pulled Ryan Hardy. It all came down to three simple things everyone, even psycho-killers, should remember when dating.
1.) What's Your Type?
Think about the type of man or woman you really want. This is harder than it sounds. We often don't know what we really want or we allow others to choose for us. After my 25 first dates I think I've finally figured it out. You don't need to take such drastic measures, just take your time . Lily thought she wanted a cold hearted serial killer but it turns out she wanted someone with a heart who just cool with her killing people and hey would maybe join her from time to time.
2.) Act Accordingly
Though Lily thought she was sure what she wanted, she still didn't act accordingly. If you want a cult leader then you need to be a follower. She brought Joe into her home like he was a new rug from Pier 1 Imports or the last member of her twisted troupe. I mean c'mon Lily he mostly murdered women and they were students. What made you think he'd want you as an equal or as a manager? Le sigh. So, if you want a strong individual as a partner then you can not make them feel inferior or controlled. This doesn't mean you have to bow down, just step down from time to time. If you don't want to do that then that's not the guy/girl for you. It's that simple.
3.) Moving Faster Than the Speed of Light
Lily should be Joe's dream girl, gorgeous, cultured, brings home the victims; but he's just not that into her. Why? Because she moved way too fast and over-shared. Talking about making him a dad after your first night together? Now that's really crazy. She has to be the first woman in history to scare off a serial killer.
I'm glad but slightly regret watching The Following before my 26th first date. Because though I'm reminded to be sure who I really want, to act accordingly and not move too fast, I feel like I should also bring some pepper spray.
Watch to see if I survive 50 first dates on my web series 50 States of Dating out now!