Holiday Breakup Blues

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So basically, I’m now dating a girl who wants her “space,” and doesn’t have sex with me. Am I insane to continue trying to make this relationship work? Please help! – Confused Guy

A: The short answer is pretty much yes, though insane might be too strong a word. How about overly hopeful? Willing to take a risk? Or could it be that too much space, too much history (both your shared and her personal) and too little sex have just addled your brain?

Good on you both for figuring out the problems you need to work on; reconciliations don’t happen without that step. Unfortunately, that’s where it ends — she’s making it very clear that she’s not interested in putting in any more effort. Sounds like the time apart just helped her clarify what she really wants – permanent space.

Déjà vu is a perfect plotline for chick flicks and Hallmark movies in which star-crossed lovers miraculously connect through the space-time continuum. But this isn’t déjà vu you’re experiencing. It’s your gut, reminding you why you broke up in the first place: This girl doesn’t dig you. Listen to it and get out now.

Finally, here’s where I think I can provide the most help: by offering a gentle reminder to take your foot off the gas in the early incubation stage of a relationship. Flood the engine with too much fuel, and it won’t start; same goes with romance. So best to leave the smothering to the cooks at Waffle House.

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