Is It Empowerment or Entitlement? Learn The Difference!

By

Is It Empowerment or Entitlement? Learn The Difference!
What is the difference between empowered and entitled behavior in a relationship?

I was talking to a female executive who has been working in finance for 30 years. She was outraged.

"This young whippersnapper comes right out of a good school, not a great school, mind you, and we are interested in hiring her for a pretty great entry-level position. When we were going over the terms, she says, 'I have to leave a little early on Tuesdays and Thursdays to go to yoga.' I almost fell off my chair! When I was starting out I worked for 14 hours a day. I would leave to go get dinner and come back to the office. That's how I made it. And now...kids are coming into their first jobs—which, mind you, there aren't that many of—and they want to leave early go to yoga??? I just don't understand."

When there is a generation gap like the one we are facing today between Boomers and Millennials, things can seem a bit unfathomable. From the story above, it is clear how our cultural priorities have shifted. Hard work is, of course, still respected and rewarded, but an emphasis on self-care, adventure and personal development lives alongside the desire for success and making money. Since corporate culture is ever-evolving, many of today's companies would value leaving early for yoga or exercise and include it in a job package.

In addition, Millenials can be very proactive about self-care and skilled at asking for what they want. This is a good thing! However, in the financial executive's rant there is more to be explored than a personal issue regarding a shift in corporate culture and the values and priorities within a generation gap.

The question that lurks within the conflict is: What is the difference between empowered and entitled behavior?

Empowered behavior comes from the desire to live in accordance with one's values, AND includes an awareness of the environment.

Entitled behavior demands something simply because one believes it should be so.

I was talking to a man who started dating. He was irritated because when he took his date to the restaurant, she said, "I can't eat here. It's not vegan." He didn't mind her food preferences and thought that there would be some options for her at the place he chose. But her declaration had a tone of entitlement. He claims he would have felt more open if she took him into account by saying, "I prefer to eat in a restaurant that serves mostly vegan food. Is that possible?"

A woman recently stated, "A man should pay for me on a date," as if that's the way it should be. Entitled. A more empowered stance might be, "I really enjoy being taken out on dates, it makes me feel cherished."

At work and in love, we are empowered when we have the attitude "I will give my best because I that is how I stay connected—to myself, first and foremost, and then to others." We are entitled when we believe "I deserve the best because I'm special."

And so, I wonder. If the young woman had said "I have a yoga class that helps me stay balanced and focused that meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I know it would keep me on track at work. Would it be okay if I came in and left early on those days?" do you think she would have gotten the same reaction from the exec? Do you think she was hired? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

This article was originally published at www.blairglaser.com. Reprinted with permission.

More Life Coach advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Blair Glaser

Consultant

Blair Glaser, MA, LCAT, RDT is a relationship consultant and leadership mentor who fixes broken teams and creates thriving ones: inside individuals, couples and organzations. Visit Blair at www.blairglaser.com, on Twitter, Linked In or Facebook.

 

Location: New York City and Woodstock, NY, NY
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Blair Glaser:

Having A Tense Relationship Moment? Fix It Like Oprah Would

By

Katherine got into the car, and immediately felt Steve’s lousy mood suck all the air out of it. “Oh no,” she thought. She knew Steve wasn’t thrilled about going to visit her brother’s family. It was a chilly winter Sunday. He wanted to lounge about, watch the games, and stay put. But she expressed it was important to her ... Read more

How Not To Become Your Partner's Therapist

By

Have you ever been so transformed by a growth-oriented, psychological, spiritual or holistic practice that you became The Prophet for it? When that happened, were you then able to diagnose when others' ailments could and should be corrected by those practices or a specific practitioner? You've probably found yourself analyzing and diagnosing your ... Read more

I'll Have A Tall Dark Grande With A Shot Of Confidence

By

I was attempting to write at my favorite coffee shop when I couldn't help but eavesdrop on two women huddled and giggling over a computer screen next to me. They were poring over some online profiles of men that one had been flirting with. "This one's very funny, but he's too short,” she described, clicking on the next one. "This guy ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular