There's so much pressure to be a perfect mother these days, whether it comes from society or just from yourself. As a result, we feel a twinge of guilt when we fall short. Are you a mom who feels guilty when you…
- Yell at your kids
- Don't want sex
- Want to be free and run away from it all
- Are working
- Aren't contributing financially to the family
- Aren't being a perfect parent
All moms feel guilty, and this list could go on and on — it seems like we just can't win. But here's the thing: it shouldn't! In my quest to be the perfect stay-at-home mom, I experienced overwhelming guilt, resentment and jelousy. Do you kow why? Becausy the beliefs I held about what a mom was supposed to be were based on 20th and even some 19th century ideas of what mothering was all about. Think about it — are you a 21st century woman who is mother from a place of 20th century beliefs? Let's find out with three tips for shedding your mommy guilt for good.
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Secret #3: A 21st Century mom asks for and receives help with gratitude
Do you see asking for help as a weakness? Is it hard to receive help without feeling guilty? If you said yes to either question, you are holding beliefs from a time when women were expected to be caregivers and caretakers, not the independent, successfull and courageous moms we are today. Can you feel that tug-of-war between what your desire and what you believe? I know I did, which is what lead me to releasing the belief that asking for help was a weakenss and the expectation that everyone I loved could read my mind. You can ask for help, but it takes courage and it takes releasing the belief that you have to DO IT ALL and be SUPERMOM. Begin to use your super powers and ask for the help you want and need. Remember, keep the request simple, be consistant and say thank you.
Secret #2: Learn to say no and set boundaries around your time
What are boundaries? Melody Beattie in her book The New Codependency talks about boundaries being limits of love and how they come from inside us as honest expressions of who we are. Learning to understand where you end and everyone else begins is the key to saying no from a place of love. When you can say yes to things that align with your personal values, interests and goals, you will begin to say what you mean and feel, instead of what you think others want you to say.
When we don't create healthy boundaries, learn where you end and your kids begin, and clearly define what we value, we are easily manipulated by fear and guilt. You are manipulating yourself — or at least your beliefs and inner critic are. You fear losing someone's love, affection and attention so you allow them to cross the line and push you further than you are comfortable with. Why? Because you aren't in touch with your personal values and beliefs. You've allowed someone — given them permission — to enter into your space, either physically, spiritually or emotionally.
Boundaries empower you and keep you in integrity! Boundaries give you the courage to make yourself a priority, live in integrity with your personal values and transcend your beliefs around being a people pleaser, martyr or hoverer. Setting boundaries that align with your values allows you to take back your ME time and focus on practicing self-care and doing what you desire. When you do what you desire, you feel less guilt, frustration and have more energy. When you have more energy you can love more, play more and live more, finding the flow and natural rhythm of your life.
Secret #1: Make yourself a priority so you can live from a place of love and not guilt
Making yourself a priority means caring for yourself, your health, and your emotional and spiritual well-being. It means doing things for yourself, buying yourself gifts, finding things that bring you joy and enjoying them. It's not about pampering yourself once in a while at the spa or telling yourself "I'll have plenty of time when the kids are older to pursue my dream of being an artist." Making yourself a priority means committing to loving yourself, living your life in integrity and alignment with your personal values and it's about putting the ME back in momME.
Become the center of your life and watch how your new found energy spirals outward from you to your children. Watch how your children react differently when you are happy and loving yourself. Your children are an extension of your energy. When you begin to love yourself, they begin to love themselves. When you begin to make yourself a priority and set boundaries, they begin to respect you more. When you practice self-care, you feel better about yourself and have more energy. When you make yourself a priority your power to create, nurture and transform will be released.
Are you ready to release your POWER? Make yourself a PRIORITY in 2014? Become a 21st Century MOM by embracing SELF-CARE, SELF-LOVE and SELF-ACCEPTANCE? Make deeper connections that improve your relationships? Cultivate Self-Compassion, Let Go of Guilt, and Learn to forgive yourself? Then let's work together in 2014 and turn all that GUILT into COURAGE with the 21st Century Moms Secret Super Power Program!
Learn more about it and apply today!
Wishing you much love and gratitude!
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