Parenting 101 – Your Life Is Not The Same

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Parenting 101 – Your Life Is Not The Same
Accepting with grace the sadness that normally comes once you become a parent

The fun that used to happen effortlessly now has to be scheduled, planned for and a babysitter needs to be hired. Marriage that happened easily before takes hard work, deliberate effort and even some therapy sessions now and then. Sex needs to be calendared days or weeks in advance, and it also means doing it when you think you’re too tired. Trust me, you’ll get into the mood once things start rolling and you’ll be so glad you did!

Adapting to the changes
Family and in-law relationships also shift quite a bit once the kids come along. Low-maintenance relationships sometimes become high-maintenance as the expectations change once the grandchildren come along. Everyone has a different picture in their heads of what that grandparent/grandchild relationship will look like and few families actually communicate about this in advance. There are these and many more stressors that come with having a family and that can really take a toll.


And most importantly, don’t forget these 7 facts:

  • It’s about taking it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.
  • Taking good care of ourselves as individuals, as couples and as families…in that order!
  • We need to be resourceful and ask for help when we need it.
  • We need to keep our values in the forefront of our minds and make sure that what is most important takes highest priority.
  • Schedule in time for you and for your partner!
  • Remember, you had the kids, they didn’t have you! Make them fit into YOUR life.

Sometimes we have to get through the less fun parts of life first to get to the fun parts. We have to make the tough decisions in order to be happy with the ultimate outcomes. Life is a sum total of moments and we have to work hard to ensure that the number of happy moments outweigh the number of challenging moments. I guess that’s what being a “grown-up” is all about!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bette Alkazian


Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT, BCPC, is a Family Therapist, Nationally Recognized Parenting Expert, Speaker and author of the award-winning Parenting Backwards and Potty Learning: The Do's, Don'ts and the Oops of Poops.


Connect with Bette and become a fan of  Balanced Parenting on Facebook.

Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
Credentials: CPC, LMFT
Specialties: Parenting

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