Make a list and check it twice. Your partner can make or break your good intentions for next year.
With New Year's Day around the corner, New Year's resolutions are not far behind. In our weight loss and healthy habits goals, we look forward to the promise of a fresh start, a clean slate and a new list of what we will surely accomplish in 2013.
But a resolution is not much more than a firm decision of sorts. It does not mean you have a bulletproof plan or even know how to really create the successful environment that will pave the path to your dreams.
Your partner plays an important role in your support system and can add significant obstacles to your path if he is not encouraging you to be the best you can be. When asked, most partners admit they would not like their significant other to be overweight or obese. At the same time, many couples do not always agree on food, exercise and free time activities. The strain becomes more obvious if one of you is trying to make a change and the other is not.
How you can tell your partner does not support your success:
1. Your partner makes you feel bad about changing habits. Calling you selfish for taking time away from him/the house/the kids or negative comments to his friends means that a guilt trip is not far behind. Instead of feeling proud of your accomplishments, you make excuses about them.
2. Your partner directly sabotages your efforts. He creates demands on your time just as you were heading to the gym. He eats fatty foods when you are dining out. He leaves you with the kids for the whole day without checking your plans. He insists that his meals remain the same while the 'rabbit food' is yours alone. You start to feel alone in your efforts and squeezed out of possibilities to do well.
3. Your partner says you don't need to change and ignores your initiatives. What is important to you is trite to your partner. He may fear that an identity change is a threat to the relationship or may truly think you are just fine as you are. But when your partner poo-poohs your efforts, you find yourself fighting for them in addition to the discipline of the diet and exercise program.
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