How Can You Get Out Of Your Own Way & Find Love?


How Can You Get Out Of Your Own Way & Find Love?
It's the end of January, are you doing what it takes to make love happen?

Absolutely, but I was so passionate about achieving my goal that I made sure to set out by removing any internal or external obstacles and establishing a routine—a plan—that guided me through the inevitable bumps on the path.  Even when I didn’t feel like it, I wrote because I was devoted to getting the word out that “extraordinary love is possible” for all people who want it.

I used the same technique to find my husband.  I pictured my future life in my mind and I took the inner and outer steps to make that happen.


And I depended on this strategy when getting out of my way in terms of exercising.



Ask yourself these questions:


  • What are the gaps between what I want and what I actually experience in my love life?
  • What is it about these gaps that are keeping me from finding the love I need and deserve?

Maybe you’ll realize that one of the big gaps is that you want love but keep telling yourself there’s no one good for you in your city.  In this case, you’re becoming aware of how you’re getting in your way by claiming to want one thing but saying it’s not possible.

Be kind to yourself as you enter this process of observing the patterns that are separating you from your heart’s true desire.

You need to see yourself clearly, and it’s hard to do that if you’re being harshly judgmental about yourself.

When you feel ready for true change, look in the mirror and say, “I want to shift my experience.”

Then, ask yourself:  What can I do to close this painful gap and get out of my way?

If you’re blocking yourself in the way I just described, you might try letting go of the negative mental chatter and consciously replacing it with the simple affirmation that you can, in fact, find just the right person in your city.


The next step involves figuring out what kind of structures you need to put into place to make your dream of meeting and marrying the most amazingly wonderful person come true this year.

Tap into other areas of your life and think about what has helped you succeed in them.


Ask yourself:  How can I apply these structures to my love life?

When you’ve come up with some initial ideas, map out your plan and get to acting!



Don’t let your commitment to finding exactly the right person and creating your own richly rewarding marriage fall to the wayside!

If you have questions related to anything I’ve shared today—whether they’re about getting in your own way, overcoming negative mental chatter, or creating a structure—share them in the comments box, and I’ll offer you some insight.

I know sometimes you want to keep things more confidential, so if that’s the case, email your question to

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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