How Can You Get Out Of Your Own Way & Find Love?


How Can You Get Out Of Your Own Way & Find Love?
It's the end of January, are you doing what it takes to make love happen?

It’s almost the end of January.


More from YourTango: 3 Myths that Sabotage Your Quest for Love

How are your commitments for love going?  Have you created a structure for making your dreams come true this year?

Most people, on New Year’s Day, are pretty psyched about their resolutions, especially when it comes to getting an amazing body, making more money, or finally finding true love.

But just a few weeks later, the excitement dissipates.

Even the smartest, most well-intentioned people find themselves falling back into their usual mindsets.


Maybe you’re experiencing this yourself.

Is doing what it takes to find genuine love starting to seem like too much?

Are you giving in to the all-too-familiar mental trap of telling yourself things like “There’s just no one worth dating where I live”?

Look, I know changing your approach to finding love can be very challenging, but. . . .

If you want to be married by this time next year, you’ve got to maintain a steadfast commitment to your resolution and let go of anything standing in your way.

Especially if the person standing in your way is you!



Trust me, I know what it’s like to get in the way of myself.

I’ve always really struggled when it comes to exercising consistently because I prefer to sit behind my desk working, coaching or generating ideas.

And it’s crazy, because when I do yoga and Pilates, I feel amazing, balanced and energized. When I don’t go to my classes—because I keep telling myself that I don’t have time—I feel the opposite—sluggish, tired and unbalanced.

Well, that’s how it used to be before I experienced a major breakthrough by becoming aware of the gap between what I wanted (to feel fantastic) and what I was actually doing (making excuses) and then creating a structure to heal that gap.

When all these things clicked inside me, I realized that I had to use the same techniques that have helped me achieve some of my greatest successes.

I’m the kind of person who loves to work with the end in mind—I love to imagine results.

Meet to Marry: A Dating Revelation for the Marriage Minded —my book—is a great example of how I operate.

More from YourTango: The 3 Myths That Sabotage Your Quest For Love

I made a cover, noted the publishing date and marked it a New York Times bestseller even before I wrote the first word.

Then I took all of the actions to transform these intentions into realities.

I made a writing schedule, decided how much time I needed to write each week, figured out how many chapters I’d write per week and blocked out regular chunks of time in my calendar.

I also realized that I couldn’t do it all on my own, so I hired my support team: an agent, an editor, graphics people, and other experts who I could count on to help me actualize my goals.


Were there days when I didn’t feel like writing?

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