Household Chores: The Best Way To Say 'I Love You'

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household chores: how to say 'I love you'
Learn how sharing the load at home can enhance your intimacy.

My husband likes to cook breakfast for both of us most mornings, which means my day usually begins with a sense of being loved and "emotionally fed" by him. I devour the scrambled egg plus potatoes or toast he whips up, which to me are better aphrodisiacs than flowers and candy. He loves my cooking too, and he's grateful that I'm better at preparing dinner and healthy salads than he is. 

I also appreciate that he knows how to fix things around the house (though he's not so good with cars). When we recently updated our old house room by room, his oversight of the renovation made me feel loved as well as more loving towards him. As Stephanie Coontz, director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, says in an article in USA Today: "Some women find a guy more sexy when he's fixing something around the house than when he's doing the ironing." For me, both are turn-ons!

So how can you transform mundane chores into fuel for romance? Other research studies on couple satisfaction recommend doing at least some weekly chores and daily activities together. An easy one is cooking which can be extremely intimate as well as delicious. Try sharing tastes of whatever you're preparing as you create everyday meals or special occasion feasts. Many men enjoy barbecuing since grilling is considered a manly artform—probably because it involves fire and meat! So, get yourselves a grill or hibachi. Concocting fresh drinks—alcoholic or otherwise—is also a creative way to jointly experiment with new tastes (and also have fun getting tipsy).

Treating household tasks as high priorities and making them fun whenever possible can give you plenty of opportunities to feel like a committed couple, married or not. Folding laundry, putting away dishes, rearranging furniture, washing windows or your cars, walking the dog, gardening, food shopping and other household tasks—even taking out the garbage—can all be acts of love just by declaring them so. 

If you have kids, sharing their playtime, chauffeuring, diaper-changing, laundry and meal prep as another way to share the work—or even give your spouse time off to rejuvenate. The same goes for pet-care, as many of us share four-legged "kids." This frees up more time and energy for cuddling (among other things). Treat your significant other as your equal partner in every part of life by appreciating whatever he/she is able to do around the house. Receiving compliments and appreciation tends to generate one's desire to do more of the same, at least in order to get more praise and kisses. 

Show you care by enjoying every moment together ... even the daily chores!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Barbara Schiffman

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Barbara Schiffman, C.Ht., ARCT

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